Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition and awkward phrasing (e.g., “get the view of this naturally”, “get my mental support while I'm”). Use correct verb forms and pronouns, and finish sentences clearly.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views. For example, I often photograph landscapes and cityscapes because they help me remember places I’ve visited and relax when I look at them later. In addition, editing the photos is a creative hobby that helps me de-stress.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence, then support it with specific details and linking words. Avoid filler words (e.g., “uh”) and incomplete sentences. Correct grammar (e.g., “the natural beauty of rural areas is spellbinding”) and use varied vocabulary to explain why you prefer rural views.

예시: I prefer rural views to urban ones because the countryside is peaceful and visually appealing. For instance, fields, forests and rivers offer diverse colors and textures, and the quiet atmosphere helps me concentrate while taking photos. Therefore, I usually choose rural locations when I go out to shoot pictures.

제안: Answer directly and avoid repetition. Use one clear reason and add a specific example. Fix grammar (e.g., singular/plural: “another country” not “another countries”) and remove redundancies like “will give me will give me”. End the response with a complete thought.

예시: I prefer views in other countries because they offer different landscapes and cultures to explore. For example, I once photographed coastal cliffs in Portugal and mountain villages in Japan; seeing those unique scenes in my photos reminds me of my travels and inspires new trips.

× Yes, I prefer taking pictures of different views.

✓ Yes, I prefer taking pictures of different views.

No change needed: 'prefer taking' correctly uses the verb + -ing after 'prefer' when talking about general preferences.

× It allows me to get the view of this naturally and capturing it may allow me to see this afterwards.

✓ It allows me to see the view naturally, and capturing it may allow me to look at it afterwards.

The sentence mixes infinitive and -ing forms and has awkward phrasing. Use 'see' after 'allows me to' and keep parallel structure: 'and capturing it may allow me to look at it afterwards.' This fixes verb form consistency and clarity.

× Afterwards, whenever I am free, I can watch the views that I have taken already, which will allow me to get my mental support while I'm.

✓ Afterwards, whenever I am free, I can look at the photos I have taken, which helps me relax and feel supported mentally.

Original sentence is incomplete ('while I'm' is unfinished) and uses 'watch' incorrectly for photos. Rephrase to complete the thought and use appropriate verbs ('look at', 'helps me relax'). This corrects sentence structure and word choice.

× I mostly prefer the view of rural areas compared to urban areas.

✓ I mostly prefer views of rural areas to those of urban areas.

Use 'prefer A to B' rather than 'prefer A compared to B.' Also plural 'views' matches context and 'those of' avoids repetition.

× Typically, urban areas are very congested and extremely noisy.

✓ Typically, urban areas are very congested and noisy.

No major grammar error; simplification removes redundant intensifier 'extremely' with 'very.' This keeps natural style.

× Instead, rural areas are calm uh, this is the natural beauty of rural areas are spell bound.

✓ Instead, rural areas are calm; their natural beauty is spellbinding.

Original has filler 'uh', comma splice, repeated subject and incorrect verb form. Use a semicolon or separate sentences and correct adjective 'spellbound' to 'spellbinding' to describe the beauty.

× It allows me to be a relaxed person That's why I.

✓ It helps me relax, which is why I prefer them.

Original is incomplete and ungrammatical. Provide a complete clause ('which is why I prefer them') and correct verb phrase 'helps me relax'.

× I prefer in the view of another countries because the natural beauties of another country will give me will give me the exact view of other countries so I can explore the other countries natural beauty and I can capture as well so that whenever I am free I can look back into those photos which will allow me to be.

✓ I prefer the views of other countries because their natural beauty lets me see different landscapes, explore new places, and take photos that I can look back on when I am free.

Many errors: incorrect preposition 'prefer in', incorrect pluralization 'another countries', repetition 'will give me will give me', awkward phrasing 'exact view'. Correct by using 'prefer the views of other countries', possessive 'their', and clearer clause structure. Also remove incomplete ending 'which will allow me to be' and finish with a clear result 'look back on when I am free.'