Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Clarify and organize your idea into a clear topic sentence and one or two supporting details. Avoid fragments and repetition. Use linking words (for example, because, so, and) and precise vocabulary (e.g., "scenery," "refreshing," "reflects"). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because varied scenery refreshes my mind and reflects my mood. For example, I often photograph sunrise over the river because the light and colors are very stunning. Taking these photos helps me relax and remember special moments.

제안: Start with a clear direct answer, then give two concise, connected reasons using linking words like because and whereas. Avoid repetition and grammatical errors (e.g., extra words like "it it"). Use specific descriptions (e.g., "open fields," "quiet lanes"). Limit to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I prefer views of rural areas because they offer quiet, open landscapes away from the hustle and bustle of the city. For instance, the green fields and quiet lanes are more relaxing and breathtaking than crowded urban streets.

제안: Begin with a direct answer and explain briefly. If you haven’t traveled abroad, state that clearly, then describe what you like about your country's scenery with specific examples and linking words (e.g., "because," "for example"). Keep to 2–3 sentences and avoid filler words like "uh."

예시: I haven't visited other countries yet, so I prefer views in my own country because they are very beautiful and rejuvenating. For example, the mountain landscapes and coastal sunsets here always make me feel refreshed.

× Yes, I like taking pictures of different views because I hate the same show me very stunning and refresh my mind and. Reflects my mood.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views because I hate seeing the same things; new views are very stunning, refresh my mind, and reflect my mood.

The original contains fragmented clauses, incorrect word choice ('show me'), and misplaced punctuation. This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). To improve, combine related ideas with proper connectors and use correct verbs: 'seeing the same things' instead of 'the same show me', and make verbs parallel ('are very stunning, refresh my mind, and reflect my mood'). Use a semicolon or conjunction to link independent clauses.

× To be honest, I prefer views of rural areas because it it awaits because it awaits from the hustle and bustle of the busy city.

✓ To be honest, I prefer views of rural areas because they are away from the hustle and bustle of the city.

The sentence repeats words ('it it awaits because it awaits') and uses 'awaits' incorrectly. This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Use the plural subject 'views' with 'they', and the correct phrase is 'away from' rather than 'awaits'. Remove redundancy ('busy' is unnecessary with 'city' but acceptable if kept).

× It is a breathtaking view in the rural areas compared to the urban area.

✓ The views in rural areas are more breathtaking compared to those in urban areas.

Original mixes singular 'It is' with plural 'rural areas', causing subject-verb agreement issues (ID 27). Also the comparison is unclear. Use plural subject 'views' with plural verb 'are' and compare 'those in urban areas' for clarity.

× That's why.

✓ That's why I prefer rural views.

Alone 'That's why.' is a fragment and does not clearly state the conclusion (ID 26). Complete the thought by connecting it to the previous reason: 'That's why I prefer rural views.'

× Oh, actually I don't really, I didn't visit any different countries yet, but uh, I like the views of all my own country because it is very breathtaking and rejuvenated for me.

✓ Oh, actually I haven't visited any other countries yet, but I like the views in my own country because they are very breathtaking and rejuvenating for me.

The sentence mixes present and simple past incorrectly; use present perfect for experiences up to now ('haven't visited') (ID 5). Also use 'other countries' not 'different countries', and match plural 'views' with plural verbs and appropriate adjective 'rejuvenating' instead of past participle 'rejuvenated'.