Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh, umm), and give one specific reason with a brief example. Use linking words to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. It boosts my creativity because composing shots forces me to notice light, color and patterns; for example, I once photographed a city skyline at sunset and learned how timing changes the mood of a scene.

제안: Give a clear direct answer, reduce hesitations, and add a specific supporting detail or short example. Use a linking word to show contrast if needed.

예시: I prefer rural views. The natural scenery calms me and helps me think more clearly; for example, walking by a lake or through a forest helps me relax and come up with new ideas.

제안: Avoid repetition and be specific about why you prefer other countries. Start with a topic sentence, provide one concise reason, and include a brief example or comparison.

예시: Although my country has beautiful heritage sites, I would choose views in other countries for their different natural landscapes; for instance, I’d like to see the alpine meadows in Europe because they offer scenery very different from our coastal and historic sites.

× Taking pictures of different views and is an amazing thing to do because I think that it improves, uh, creativity and it gives people, umm, uh, a creative, uh, factor of what they can create with their own.

✓ Taking pictures of different views is an amazing thing to do because I think it improves creativity and gives people a sense of what they can create on their own.

Original sentence has an extra conjunction 'and' before 'is', causing a sentence structure error (missing or extraneous element). It also uses wordy and unclear phrasing 'a creative, factor of what they can create with their own.' Corrections: remove the extra 'and' to make the subject and verb agree ('Taking pictures... is'), simplify 'improves, uh, creativity' to 'improves creativity', and replace the unclear phrase with 'gives people a sense of what they can create on their own.' Suggestion: speak in complete clauses, avoid filler words, and use concise, standard phrases like 'a sense of' and 'on their own.'

× Honestly, I like both, but if I had a chance to choose between them, I would choose the rural areas because uh, natural scenery gives a piece of mind and it helps me personally to think clearly and uh, it helps with meditation and so on.

✓ Honestly, I like both, but if I had a chance to choose between them, I would choose rural areas because natural scenery gives peace of mind and helps me think clearly and meditate.

Errors: 'the rural areas' and 'the natural scenery' use the definite article unnecessarily; 'a piece of mind' is incorrect collocation. Use no article for general plural nouns ('rural areas') and use 'peace of mind' (fixed expression) without article. Also streamline redundant 'it helps me personally' and 'it helps with meditation' into parallel verbs 'helps me think clearly and meditate.' Suggestion: use articles with specific nouns only and learn fixed expressions like 'peace of mind.'

× Well, my country has lots of different views. We we really take care of our heritage and we we like to keep it alive over time. But I would choose the natural scenery in other countries like the European countries, not my country.

✓ Well, my country has many different views. We really take care of our heritage and like to keep it alive over time. But I would choose the natural scenery in other countries, such as those in Europe, rather than in my country.

Issues: repeated 'We we' is a disfluency; 'lots of' is informal—'many' is more appropriate in speaking tests. 'the European countries' is awkward; say 'countries in Europe' or 'those in Europe.' Also 'not my country' is abrupt; use 'rather than in my country' for clarity. Suggestion: avoid repetitions, choose more precise determiners ('many'), and use clearer comparative phrasing ('rather than').