Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and add a short specific reason or example. Use one or two linking words to connect ideas. Keep the answer to under five sentences.

예시: I don't really enjoy photography because I prefer to experience landscapes directly rather than through a camera. However, I do take photos occasionally to share with friends, for example when I visit a particularly beautiful viewpoint or a festival that I know they would like to see.

제안: Make the topic sentence clearer and correct the ending. Add a brief specific detail to support your preference and use a linking word to make it flow. Watch for grammar (singular/plural) and complete the comparison.

예시: I prefer rural views because they offer wildlife and diverse plants that you rarely see in cities. For example, when I go to the countryside I often spot birds, butterflies and wildflowers, which makes the scenery more peaceful and interesting.

제안: Avoid short choppy sentences and unnecessary hesitations. Give a single clear statement, then add specific reasons in one or two supporting sentences with linking words. Fix word order and redundancy.

예시: I prefer views in other countries because they often offer different landscapes and wildlife than at home. For instance, I enjoy coastal scenery and unique animals abroad, such as tropical birds and marine life, which I don't usually see in my country.

× To be honest, I don't really enjoy photography because I prefer watching every site and landscape by myself.

✓ To be honest, I don't really enjoy photography because I prefer looking at sights and landscapes by myself.

The verb 'watch' is not used with 'site' or 'landscape' in this context; 'look at' or 'see' is appropriate. Also 'every site and landscape' is unnatural; use plural 'sights and landscapes'. Use of gerund 'looking' after 'prefer' is correct but 'watching' should be replaced with 'looking at'. Suggestion: use 'prefer looking at sights and landscapes' or 'prefer to look at sights and landscapes'.

× But sometimes I do take photos and just to show it to my friends.

✓ But sometimes I do take photos just to show them to my friends.

After 'do take photos' the phrase should be 'just to show them' not 'just to show it'. 'Photos' is plural so the pronoun must be 'them'. Also remove the extra 'and' which creates a sentence fragment. Suggestion: say 'I do take photos just to show them to my friends.'

× Well, I would say that I prefer rural areas because you can see an animal or some beautiful plants or insects there, so I enjoy it better than looking for.

✓ Well, I would say that I prefer rural areas because you can see animals, beautiful plants, or insects there, so I enjoy them more than urban views.

'See an animal or some beautiful plants or insects' is wordy; use plural 'animals' and parallel nouns. The phrase 'enjoy it better than looking for' is ungrammatical and unclear; likely comparison is between rural and urban views. Use 'enjoy them more than urban views.' Also 'better' with 'enjoy' is less natural than 'more'. Ensure pronoun agreement and parallel structure.

× To be honest, I would say that I enjoy. Views in another country than in my own country because there are lots of ocean views, beaches, some unusual animals and the wildlife overall.

✓ To be honest, I would say that I enjoy views in another country more than in my own country because there are many ocean views, beaches, unusual animals, and diverse wildlife.

The original has a sentence fragment 'I enjoy.' and incorrect comparison phrasing 'in another country than in my own country'. Combine into one sentence and use 'more than' for comparison. Use 'many' instead of 'lots of' for more formal speech and 'diverse wildlife' is clearer than 'the wildlife overall'. Ensure parallel noun list and smooth flow.

× So I would say another country.

✓ So I would say I prefer another country.

Sentence is a fragment lacking the verb 'prefer'. Adding 'I prefer' completes the thought and mirrors the question about preference. Suggestion: use 'So I would say I prefer another country.'