Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words and avoid hesitation. Use more precise vocabulary (e.g., ‘scenery’, ‘capture’) and correct small grammar errors (e.g., ‘who have never been there’). Keep to 2–3 sentences. For example, say why you take photos (to share scenery and memories) and give a specific example of a photo you like.

예시: Yes, I really enjoy taking pictures of different views. I like to capture scenery so I can share the place and my memories with people who have never been there, for example a sunset I photographed on a hilltop that showed the whole city glowing.

제안: Give a direct answer first, then explain with clear linking words and specific details. Avoid conflicting statements like ‘I can't judge myself’ followed by a preference; instead say you prefer one but sometimes like the other, and explain why with examples. Correct grammar and reduce repetition. Keep within 2–3 sentences.

예시: I usually prefer urban views because I enjoy shopping and hanging out with friends in lively areas. However, sometimes I choose rural views when I need peace and fresh air, for example a quiet village by the lake where I can relax.

제안: Start with a clear statement of preference and then qualify it with reasons using linking words (e.g., ‘however’, ‘because’). Provide specific contrasts (culture, landscape) and a brief example. Fix grammar (e.g., ‘different weather’ -> ‘different climates’). Limit to 2–3 concise sentences.

예시: I generally prefer views in my own country because they feel familiar and I know the best spots. However, I also enjoy views abroad because different cultures and landscapes offer new experiences, such as coastal cliffs I saw while traveling that were unlike anything at home.

× I can't show to other people who never been there before and somehow people didn't see kind of that place.

✓ I can't show it to other people who have never been there before, and some people haven't seen places like that.

Pronoun and clause errors: 'show to other people' needs an object ('it') after 'show'; 'who never been there before' requires present perfect 'have never been'; 'somehow people didn't see kind of that place' is ungrammatical and unclear — use 'some people haven't seen places like that' with present perfect. Use concise phrasing and correct verb forms to match present relevance. Suggestion: Always include the direct object after 'show' (show someone something), use 'have/has' with 'never' for experiences, and rephrase vague parts for clarity.

× And I would like to share some feeling and my experience that I was there, you know?

✓ And I would like to share some feelings and my experience of being there, you know?

Countable noun and clause form: 'feeling' should be plural 'feelings' when speaking generally. 'My experience that I was there' is unnatural; use 'my experience of being there' or 'my experience there'. Use the gerund 'being' to describe the state of having been there. Suggestion: Use plural for general emotions and 'of being' to connect 'experience' with the event.

× I can't judge myself.

✓ I can't decide for myself.

Awkward collocation: 'judge myself' is odd in this context; the intended meaning is 'decide for myself' or 'I can't say'. Use common collocations to convey the intended meaning. Suggestion: Use 'decide for myself' when choosing between options.

× What kind of it depends on situations.

✓ It depends on the situation.

Incorrect structure and articles: 'What kind of it' is ungrammatical and wordy; use 'It depends on the situation' or 'It depends on the circumstances.' Also 'situations' should be singular or use 'different situations.' Suggestion: Simplify to 'It depends on the situation' for clarity.

× sometimes I like to stay in the place that surrounding like urban area that because I love to shop, I would, I love to go hanging out with my friends,

✓ Sometimes I like to stay in places that are in urban areas because I love to shop and to hang out with my friends,

Preposition and relative clause errors: 'stay in the place that surrounding like urban area' is incorrect. Use 'places that are in urban areas' or 'stay in urban areas.' 'Because' should introduce the reason clause. 'I would, I love to go hanging out' is redundant — use 'I love to hang out.' Also use parallel infinitives 'to shop and to hang out' or 'to shop and hang out.' Suggestion: Use 'in urban areas' and correct relative clauses: 'places that are in urban areas' and parallel verb forms.

× but sometimes I need to take a rest. So I prefer to choose urban.

✓ but sometimes I need to rest, so I prefer the countryside.

Meaning and word choice: The student intended contrast between urban (busy) and rural (restful). 'Prefer to choose urban' is awkward; 'prefer the countryside' or 'prefer rural areas' is clearer. Also 'take a rest' is acceptable but 'rest' is more natural. Keep tense consistent (present simple for habits). Suggestion: Use clear contrasting vocabulary and natural collocations: 'I need to rest, so I prefer rural areas/the countryside.'

× I do prefer my own country, but sometimes I love both, both of them.

✓ I do prefer my own country, but sometimes I like both of them.

Word choice and redundancy: 'love both, both of them' is redundant; 'like both of them' is more natural for preference. 'Love' can be used but 'like' better expresses equal preference. Keep pronoun reference clear by 'both of them.' Suggestion: Use 'both of them' once and choose appropriate verb ('like' or 'love') to convey preference.

× That because umm, it's different cultures, different landscape, it's different view, different feeling, different weathers.

✓ That's because there are different cultures, different landscapes, different views, different feelings, and different weathers.

Article and count noun issues: Start with 'That's because' (contraction of 'That is because'). Use 'there are' to introduce plural items. Nouns like 'culture, landscape, view, feeling, weather' should be plural when listing differences (cultures, landscapes, views, feelings). 'Weathers' is uncommon; 'weather' is usually uncountable — better: 'different weather' or 'different climates.' Maintain parallel structure when listing. Suggestion: Use 'there are' + plural nouns or adjust uncountable nouns (weather/climate) and keep items parallel.

× So that's why I cannot choose right now. But.

✓ So that's why I cannot choose right now.

Fragment and redundancy: 'So that's why' already explains the reason; ending with 'But.' creates an incomplete sentence/fragment. Remove the trailing 'But.' Keep sentences complete. Suggestion: Avoid sentence fragments; finish thoughts or remove incomplete conjunctions.