Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Clarify and shorten your answer to be more natural. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid repetitions and filler words, and give one specific reason with a brief example. Use linking words like 'because' only once and correct minor grammar (e.g. 'photos' not 'for pictures').

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views because they help me remember places and moments. For example, when I visited a mountain village last year, I took several landscape shots that always remind me of the trip.

제안: Be concise and reduce hesitations. Give a clear topic sentence naming your preference, then provide two specific reasons linked by words like 'because' or 'and'. Avoid redundant phrases such as 'according to me' and 'on the other hand.'

예시: I prefer photographing rural areas because they are quieter and have more natural scenery. For instance, fields and forests offer varied colors and textures that make more interesting photos than crowded city streets.

제안: Answer directly and avoid vague phrases. State your preference clearly, then give two concise, specific reasons with an example. Correct grammar (e.g. 'many tourist spots' not 'a lot many') and avoid absolute claims like 'not seen in any other countries.'

예시: I prefer views in my own country because it has many iconic historical sites and familiar landscapes. For example, monuments like the Taj Mahal and the Golden Temple offer unique architecture and cultural meaning that I feel more connected to when I photograph them.

× I do prefer taking photographs of different views because I think that taking for pictures of different views becomes a memory and and it lasts longer for the rest of the life.

✓ I prefer taking photographs of different views because I think taking pictures of different views becomes a memory and it lasts for the rest of your life.

Redundant use of 'do' with 'prefer' is unnecessary; simple present 'prefer' is correct. 'Taking for pictures' is incorrect word order and extra preposition 'for' must be removed. Duplicate 'and' should be removed. 'the rest of the life' is unnatural; use 'the rest of your life'. Use consistent simple present tense for general preferences.

× Well, according to me, I prefer taking photographs and, and, uh, views in rural areas because I prefer that the urban areas are very busy areas, whereas on the other hand, the rural areas are more connected towards the environment and one can get many, uh, beautiful photographs by because, uh, because of the nature.

✓ Well, I prefer taking photographs of views in rural areas because urban areas are very busy, whereas rural areas are more connected to the environment and you can get many beautiful photographs because of nature.

'According to me' is nonstandard; say 'I prefer'. Remove filler words. 'Prefer that the urban areas are' is incorrect structure; use direct statement 'urban areas are'. 'Connected towards' is incorrect preposition; use 'connected to'. 'One can' is formal; 'you can' is more natural in spoken English. Remove redundant 'by because' and unnecessary commas.

× Well, according to me, I do prefer the views in my country because I think that there are a lot many tourist spots in my country which include Golden Temple, Taj Mahal which attracts all the people in all of the world and I believe that these views are not seen in any other countries.

✓ I prefer the views in my country because there are many tourist spots, such as the Golden Temple and the Taj Mahal, which attract people from all over the world, and I believe these views are not seen in other countries.

'A lot many' is ungrammatical; use 'many' or 'a lot of'. Use definite article with famous monuments: 'the Golden Temple' and 'the Taj Mahal'. 'Which attracts all the people in all of the world' is wordy and awkward; use 'which attract people from all over the world'. 'Any other countries' should be 'other countries' in this context.