Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Сформулируйте ответ более естественно и исправьте ошибки в местоимениях; дайте чёткое вступительное предложение и одно-два уточняющих предложения с конкретикой. Избегайте лишних слов и следите за согласованием (например, «capture him» неверно — нужно «capture them» или «capture scenes»). Также варьируйте лексику (e.g. take photos, shoot, landscapes) и используйте связующее слово для плавного перехода к деталям.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. Photography is one of my hobbies, so I often take my camera to gardens and parks to shoot landscapes and flowers. For example, last weekend I photographed a variety of colorful blooms and a small pond that looked especially peaceful.

제안: Сделайте ответ более грамматически правильным и стройным: начните с прямого утверждения, затем объясните причину, используя связочные слова (because, while, whereas). Дайте конкретные примеры того, что вы снимаете в сельской местности и сократите повторения («where there is more like nature» — неверно).

예시: I prefer rural areas because they offer more natural scenery and wildlife. For instance, I can photograph wildflowers, birds and open fields, whereas urban areas often have crowded streets and modern buildings that are less interesting for nature photography.

제안: Ответ ясен, но можно сделать его более естественным и компактным: начните с основной мысли, затем добавьте причину и конкретный пример. Избегайте излишнего усиления (например, «so cold and very snowy» — достаточно «very snowy»).

예시: I prefer views in my own country, especially during winter. The heavy snow creates beautiful landscapes like frosted trees and frozen lakes, which are perfect subjects for photography.

× I usually bring my photo camera to the garden and capture him.

✓ I usually bring my camera to the garden and photograph it or take photos there.

The student used the pronoun 'him' incorrectly to refer to a camera; 'him' is for people. Use 'it' for objects or rephrase to 'photograph it' or 'take photos' to be natural. Suggestion: Replace personal pronouns with 'it' when referring to objects, or rephrase with a verb like 'photograph' or 'take photos'. Use 'camera' instead of 'photo camera'.

× I prefer the rural areas because where there is more like nature where I can capture any flowers, any animals, while in urban areas where.

✓ I prefer rural areas because there is more nature and I can photograph flowers and animals, unlike in urban areas.

The original sentence has redundant and disordered clauses ('where' repeated, 'more like nature') and poor comparison structure. Removed extra 'where', changed 'more like nature' to 'more nature', and used 'unlike in urban areas' to complete the contrast. Suggestion: Keep clauses clear and avoid repeating relative words. Use 'there is' for existence and 'unlike' or 'while' to contrast two places.

× I prefer views of my own country, especially if it's winter.

✓ I prefer views of my own country, especially in winter.

Using 'if it's winter' implies a conditional rather than a habitual time; 'in winter' is the correct phrase to indicate the season generally. Also 'views of my own country' is fine; change 'if it's winter' to 'in winter' for naturalness. Suggestion: Use 'in winter' to talk about seasons in general rather than 'if it's winter'.

× Winter in my country is so cold and very snowy, so I can easily photograph so many snowy landscapes.

✓ Winter in my country is very cold and snowy, so I can easily photograph many snowy landscapes.

The phrase 'so cold and very snowy' is redundant; use one intensifier. 'So many snowy landscapes' is acceptable but 'many snowy landscapes' is more natural after 'easily'. Suggestion: Avoid redundant intensifiers ('so' + 'very'). Use a single appropriate adverb such as 'very' or 'quite'.