Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and use a clearer tense. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one specific reason with a linking word. Avoid repeating phrases like "I had taken" and unnecessary fillers.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because photos help me remember places I visit. For example, when I travel I photograph landscapes and landmarks so I can look back at the trip later.

제안: Give a clear direct answer and reduce hesitations. Use one or two concise supporting reasons connected with linking words (e.g., "because", "so"). Avoid repeating phrases like "to be honest" and filler sounds.

예시: I prefer urban views because I enjoy well-organized streets and modern architecture. For instance, I like city skylines and tidy parks that show careful planning.

제안: Answer directly and reduce fillers like "uh" and "umm." Use one strong reason and give a specific example of a place or type of site to make the answer more concrete.

예시: I prefer views in my own country because Japan has a rich mix of natural scenery and historic sites. For example, I enjoy photographing Mount Fuji and traditional temples, which capture both nature and history.

× Whenever I see the photos that I had taken, I can record the places that I visit or the trips that I had, so that's why.

✓ Whenever I see the photos that I have taken, I can remember the places I visited or the trips I took, so that's why.

The original uses past perfect (had taken, had) incorrectly. Use present perfect 'have taken' for photos taken at unspecified time with relevance now. Use simple past 'visited' and 'took' for completed actions (places visited, trips taken). Also 'record' is better as 'remember' in this context. Ensure consistent tense use and appropriate verb choice.

× I like views in other areas than those in rural areas, to be honest.

✓ I prefer views in areas other than rural ones, to be honest.

The phrase 'in other areas than those in rural areas' is awkward and repetitive. Use the comparative structure 'prefer... in areas other than rural ones' or 'prefer views in areas other than rural areas'. This corrects preposition and phrasing issues and sounds more natural.

× I, to be honest, like, uh, organized things.

✓ To be honest, I like organized things.

The original contains filler words and an awkward placement of 'to be honest'. Move 'to be honest' to the beginning and remove fillers 'I,' 'uh' to make a clear, fluent sentence. This corrects sentence structure and improves fluency.

× So those organized things can be found in urbanized areas relatively.

✓ Those organized things are relatively easy to find in urban areas.

'Can be found in urbanized areas relatively' has awkward adverb placement and word choice. Use 'relatively easy to find in urban areas' for natural syntax: place adverb 'relatively' before 'easy' and use 'urban areas' instead of 'urbanized areas' for normal usage.

× I like uh, views in my country than in other countries because I do believe that Japan is quite a beautiful country.

✓ I prefer views in my country to those in other countries because I believe Japan is a very beautiful country.

Use the comparative structure 'prefer A to B' rather than 'like A than B'. Remove filler 'uh' and 'do' for natural speech: 'I believe' is sufficient. 'Quite a beautiful' is acceptable but 'very beautiful' is clearer. Also use 'those' to refer back to 'views'.

× In Japan we can find lots of umm, good sightseeing in the natural condition and historic sites, so.

✓ In Japan we can find many great natural sights and historic sites.

'Lots of good sightseeing' is incorrect: 'sightseeing' is an activity, not countable. Use 'many great natural sights' or 'many great places to see in nature' and 'historic sites'. Remove filler 'umm' and trailing 'so'. This corrects word choice and adjective usage.