Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and clearer about timing and sequence, use a topic sentence, one or two supporting details, and linking words to show sequence. Avoid unnecessary repetition and minor errors (e.g., 'when I completed my 10th grade' → 'after I finished 10th grade').

예시: Yes. I received a Honda Shine from my father after I finished 10th grade, and I rode it frequently during school and college. Later, I sold the Shine and bought a Royal Enfield Bullet because I preferred its comfort and style.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two concise, specific reasons using linking words (for example, 'because' and 'moreover'). Correct unclear phrase 'Temple students'—likely 'college students' or 'people visiting temples'. Provide examples and avoid vague wording.

예시: Yes, bikes are very popular in India because they are affordable and easy to park in crowded cities. Moreover, many students and office workers prefer them for short commutes; for example, commuters often use bikes to travel between home and college or work quickly and cheaply.

× Yes, when I completed my 10th grade my father gifted me a bike which is Honda Shine and I used to ride it a lot during my school and college time.

✓ Yes, when I completed my 10th grade my father gifted me a bike, a Honda Shine, and I used to ride it a lot during my school and college years.

The sentence needed clearer noun phrase and natural time expression. 'which is Honda Shine' is awkward; use an appositive 'a Honda Shine'. 'time' after school and college is unnatural; use 'years'. Also add a comma before the appositive for clarity.

× Then I sold it and bought a new Bullet.

✓ Then I sold it and bought a new Royal Enfield Bullet.

The original sentence is mostly grammatical but lacks clarity about the bike model; adding the full model name makes it natural. Tenses 'sold' and 'bought' are correctly in past tense to match the narrative.

× Yes, bikes are very important in India as a lot of students and office workers use them because it is very convenient to park in public places.

✓ Yes, bikes are very important in India because many students and office workers use them since they are very convenient to park in public places.

Use 'many' for countable plural 'students and office workers' instead of 'a lot of' for a more formal tone; 'it is very convenient' is incorrect because the subject 'bikes' is plural, so use 'they are very convenient'. Also replace 'because' placement for clarity and flow.

× Temple students have different places to park and they generally prefer bikes for short rides.

✓ People who work or study at temples have separate places to park, and they generally prefer bikes for short rides.

'Temple students' is unclear and likely incorrect; use 'people who work or study at temples' or 'temple staff/students' depending on meaning. 'Different places to park' is vague; 'separate places to park' or 'designated parking' is more natural. Adjusted wording improves clarity and correct preposition/word choice.