Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise, correct grammar, and avoid redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct phrases (e.g. “two-wheeler”), and limit to up to five sentences. Use one or two specific supporting details and a linking word for coherence (e.g. “and” or “so”).

예시: Yes — I did. I got my first two-wheeler when I was about five; it was a bright red BMX. I loved it and spent almost every afternoon cycling around the neighborhood with local kids, so it became my favorite way to play.

제안: Good content and structure but refine language for naturalness and accuracy. Use clearer linking words (e.g. “however”/“but”) and specific examples (e.g. bike lanes, bike-sharing schemes). Keep to three to five sentences and avoid slightly awkward phrases like “niche hobby.”

예시: Yes, they are becoming much more popular. A few years ago cycling was seen mainly as a niche hobby or sport, but recently there has been a big shift toward using bikes for daily commutes, especially thanks to new bike lanes and bike-sharing programs in my city.

× I remember getting my first two Wheeler when I was about 5 or 7 years old.

✓ I remember getting my first two-wheeler when I was about 5 or 7 years old.

The phrase 'two Wheeler' incorrectly separates and capitalizes the compound noun. Use the singular compound noun 'two-wheeler' (hyphenated, lowercase) to refer to one bike. Also ensure number agreement: 'my first two-wheeler' is correct when referring to the first bicycle.

× It was a bright red BMX and it was absolutely over the moon about it.

✓ It was a bright red BMX and I was absolutely over the moon about it.

The original sentence uses 'it was absolutely over the moon about it,' which incorrectly attributes the emotion to the bicycle (it). The speaker should be the subject expressing the emotion. Change the second clause subject to 'I' and keep the verb 'was' to make the meaning clear.

× I spent nearly over every afternoon tearing around the neighborhood with my local kids and my neighbors.

✓ I spent nearly every afternoon tearing around the neighborhood with the local kids and my neighbors.

The phrase 'nearly over every afternoon' combines two prepositional/quantifier words redundantly. Use either 'nearly every afternoon' or 'almost every afternoon.' Also 'my local kids' is awkward; 'the local kids' is clearer when referring to neighborhood children collectively.

× Previously people mostly viewed cycling as niche hobby or a sport for athletes, but recently there's been a massive shift toward using them for daily commute in major cities, most especially in my city.

✓ Previously people mostly viewed cycling as a niche hobby or a sport for athletes, but recently there's been a massive shift toward using it for the daily commute in major cities, especially in my city.

Several article and pronoun issues: 'niche hobby' needs the indefinite article 'a.' 'Using them for daily commute' misuses the plural pronoun 'them' to refer to the singular concept 'cycling'—use 'it.' Also add the definite article 'the daily commute' to refer to a specific commuting activity. 'Most especially' is wordy; 'especially' suffices.