Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid hesitation and repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Reduce filler sounds (uh) and repeated phrases.

예시: No, I didn’t have a bike as a child. The main reason was the very hot climate in my city, which made outdoor cycling uncomfortable. Instead, I usually stayed indoors and played board games and card games with my siblings.

제안: Clarify meaning and choose appropriate vocabulary. Link ideas clearly and avoid ambiguous words like “cards” when you mean a transport alternative. Provide a brief example or comparison to support your statement.

예시: Bikes are available in my country, but they aren’t very popular because of the hot weather. As a result, most people prefer motorbikes or cars for commuting since these are faster and protect them from the heat.

× I never had an opportunity to own a bike, uh, because the weather in the city that I live in was really hot and instead I used to, I used to play indoor games with my siblings.

✓ I never had an opportunity to own a bike because the weather in the city where I lived was really hot, and instead I used to play indoor games with my siblings.

Mixed tense and relative clause choice: 'the city that I live in was' mixes present 'live' with past 'was'. The context is past (childhood), so use past 'lived'. Use 'where I lived' for a smoother relative clause. Remove the repeated 'I used to' redundancy. Overall, keep verbs consistent in past tense for clarity.

× Although bikes are known and available, they are not used much in my country because of the hot climate.

✓ Although bikes are known and available, they are not used much in my country because of the hot climate.

No pronoun error found; sentence is acceptable. However, 'they' correctly refers to 'bikes'. Suggestion: you could say 'are not widely used' for more natural English, but this is not required by the given error list.

× Therefore, we use cards because it's more sufficient.

✓ Therefore, we use cars because they are more practical.

Word choice error: 'cards' is likely a mistaken word for 'cars'. 'More sufficient' is incorrect English; use 'more practical', 'more efficient', or 'more suitable'. Also match pronoun and verb number: 'they are' for plural 'cars'.