Sharing— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 内容は伝わりますが、文法や語順の誤りが多く、冗長な表現があります。まず主題文で直接答えを示し（Yes, they did. / No, they didn’t.）、その後に短い理由や具体例を一つ付け加えてください。過去の習慣は過去形で統一し、代名詞や数の一致に注意しましょう。接続語（for example, so, because）を正しく使い、文を5文以内に収めてください。

예시: Yes, they did. I grew up with a brother and a sister, so our parents taught us to share everything. For example, when we had one cake, they showed us how to divide it fairly among the three of us.

제안: 答えは具体的で良いですが、文が途切れたり冗長になっています。まず短い主題文で答え（I like to share public transport or bike-sharing services.）、続けて理由を一つか二つで補足してください。また、不要な句点や語順の乱れを直し、語彙を少し整理しましょう。

예시: I like to use bike-sharing services. They are convenient because I don't own a bicycle and there are many docking stations near my home, so I can rent one whenever I need it.

제안: 回答が不明瞭で意味が伝わりにくいです。まず具体的な例（personal items, toothbrushes, or phones）を挙げ、それから理由を述べてください。論理的な接続語（for example, because, therefore）を使い、短く明確に答えましょう。

예시: Personal items like toothbrushes or phones are not suitable for sharing because they are unhygienic and private, and sharing them could spread germs or cause discomfort.

제안: 内容は“子ども用品を共有している”という点で良いですが、語順や単語の選択が乱れて分かりにくくなっています。まず簡潔に事実を述べ（Yes. I often share my children's items with my sister.）、次に具体例を一つ挙げてください。性別の説明は一度に簡潔にまとめると良いです。

예시: Yes. I often share my children's clothes and toys with my sister because she has a son and I have a daughter, so we swap items that fit their ages.

제안: 良い回答ですが、時制と語順のミスがあり繰り返しもあります。主題文で直接答え、その後簡潔に理由と具体例を添えてください。仮定や過去・未来の時制は正確に使いましょう。

예시: I would tell my husband first because he always encourages me to study hard. For example, if I received a high IELTS score, I would call him immediately to share the news.

제안: 答えの主旨は分かりますが、語順の乱れや不完全な文があります。まず簡潔な主題文（I usually share news about my job or personal life.）、続けて具体例一つ（I tell them when I change jobs or move house）を付けてください。接続表現を使って文を滑らかにしましょう。

예시: I usually share news about my job or personal life with my friends. For example, if I change jobs, I always tell them because they offer advice and support.

× Yes indeed, because I have siblings, brother and sister and we have to share all of things between them.

✓ Yes indeed, because I have siblings: a brother and a sister, and we have to share all things among us.

The original sentence misused plural/singular forms and prepositions. 'siblings, brother and sister' should specify 'a brother and a sister'. 'all of things' is incorrect; use 'all things' or 'all of the things'. Use 'among us' to indicate sharing between people. Improve by ensuring correct count nouns and appropriate preposition for distribution.

× So if we had one cake, my parents told us. You have to he had to think how to share this cake.

✓ So when we had one cake, my parents told us, 'You have to think about how to share this cake.'

The sentence has tense inconsistency and broken structure. Use past tense consistently: 'when we had'. Reported speech should be quoted or transformed: my parents told us that we had to think about how to share the cake. Use 'think about' not just 'think how'. Improve by keeping consistent tense and proper reporting of speech.

× Well, I always use sharing bicycle service because I don't have my bicycle and.

✓ Well, I always use a bicycle-sharing service because I don't have my own bicycle.

Pronoun and noun issues: 'sharing bicycle service' is awkward; 'bicycle-sharing service' or 'a bike-sharing service' is correct. 'my bicycle and.' is incomplete and should be 'my own bicycle.' Remove the stray 'and'. Improve by using correct compound noun and possessive pronoun.

× It's not necessary to have it because there are many bicycle ports near my home.

✓ It's not necessary to have one because there are many bicycle docks near my home.

'have it' is odd; use 'have one' to refer to a bicycle. 'bicycle ports' is unnatural in English; 'bicycle docks' or 'bike stations' is better. 'near my home' is fine. Improve by choosing idiomatic nouns and correct reference words.

× Well, there are simple things, but I think to please just items are not suitable for sharing because it's very crucial for us.

✓ Well, there are simple things, but I think personal items are not suitable for sharing because they are very important to us.

'to please just items' is ungrammatical; likely intended 'personal items'. 'crucial' is formal; 'important' is more natural. Also match plural 'they are'. Improve by using correct adjective 'personal' and proper agreement.

× Yes, I have children some and daughter and my sister has always a son, a son and I.

✓ Yes, I have some children and a daughter, and my sister always has a son as well.

The original word order and pluralization are incorrect. 'children some and daughter' should be 'some children and a daughter' or if meaning 'I have a child, a daughter' use that. 'my sister has always a son' is odd; likely intended 'my sister also has a son'. Improve by ordering quantifiers and nouns correctly and using 'also' instead of 'always'.

× We always shared the items for children with my sister for example. If the girls.

✓ We always share children's items with my sister, for example, if the girls need them.

Tense and fragment issues: 'shared' vs present context—use present 'share' if routine. 'items for children' is better as 'children's items'. The fragment 'If the girls.' must be completed: 'if the girls need them.' Improve by completing clauses and choosing correct tense for habitual actions.

× Of course my husband because he always encouraged me to study hard and if I got high score for IELTS test I would tell him as soon as I received I received the score.

✓ Of course my husband, because he always encourages me to study hard, and if I get a high score on the IELTS test I will tell him as soon as I receive the score.

Mix of tenses and subject-verb agreement: 'he always encouraged' should be present 'encourages' to match habitual action. Use 'get' and 'will tell' for future possibility. 'got high score' should be 'get a high score' and 'on the IELTS test'. Remove repeated phrase 'I received I received'. Improve by maintaining consistent tense for habits and proper future construction.

× Ohh well I tell my friends the news about job or my personal changes.

✓ Oh, well, I tell my friends news about my job or personal changes.

Preposition 'about job' needs 'my job' or 'a job'. 'the news about job' is awkward; use 'news about my job' or 'news about a job'. 'personal changes' is acceptable but specify 'my personal changes'. Improve by adding possessive and removing unnecessary articles.

× For example if I change a job I want to tell. It to.

✓ For example, if I change jobs, I want to tell them about it.

Fragmented and incorrect phrasing: 'change a job' should be 'change jobs' or 'change my job'. 'I want to tell. It to.' is broken; correct form is 'I want to tell them about it.' Improve by using complete clauses and correct object pronouns.