Birthday— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Speak more clearly and use a simple, direct structure: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Reduce hesitation and avoid repeating words. Use correct verb forms and prepositions (e.g., 'I get up', 'I go to the temple', 'to pray for my health and happiness'). Keep your answer to 2–4 sentences.

예시: On my birthday I usually get up early and go to the temple to pray. After that I spend time with my family, and we eat a special meal together to celebrate.

제안: Organize your answer with a clear past-tense topic sentence and specific supporting details. Avoid fillers like 'umm' and repetition. Use correct past tense verbs (e.g., 'my sister helped me', 'we went to the temple', 'we had a birthday party'). Explain one or two details about the party to make your answer more specific.

예시: When I was young, my elder sister woke me up and helped me get ready. We went to the temple together, then returned home and had a birthday party with friends and relatives, which always made me very happy.

제안: Give a clear opinion at the start and support it with reasons. Use coherent linking words like 'but' or 'however' correctly, and avoid vague phrases. Use consistent tense and clear vocabulary (e.g., 'When I was younger I was excited, but now I think birthdays are less important because...'). Provide a specific reason or example.

예시: I used to think birthdays were very important because I enjoyed the attention and parties. However, now I feel they are less important because I prefer quiet time or spending time with close family rather than large celebrations.

제안: Start with a short, confident statement and then give specific reasons. If you are unsure about other countries, say so briefly and focus on general cultural norms. Use correct word choices ('elderly', 'children') and explain why their birthdays are important (e.g., respect, milestones). Keep sentences concise and linked logically.

예시: I am not an expert on China, but generally I think birthdays of elderly people and children are most important. Children’s birthdays mark milestones, while celebrating elders shows respect and gratitude for their lives.

× Unfortunately, I'm I usually get up early in the morning at 4:30 or five and I begin to freeze up and goes to temple is air on my body and worship for my good and and good and welfare another year and.

✓ Unfortunately, I usually get up early in the morning at 4:30 or 5:00, and I begin to freshen up, go to the temple, and worship for my well-being and welfare for the coming year.

Errors: incorrect auxiliary and extra 'I'm', wrong verb forms ('begin to freeze up' and 'goes'), and unclear phrases. Type: Present tense issue. Use simple present for habitual actions: 'I usually get up', 'I begin to freshen up', 'I go to the temple', and use clear nouns 'well-being' and 'welfare'. Remove redundant words and correct verb agreement.

× When I was a young my elder sister usually helped me to get up and umm take me to a bath and umm move and umm uh goes uh to temple by my side and come back home and have a party birthday party with my beloved friends and family and relatives.

✓ When I was young, my elder sister usually helped me get up, take me to bathe, go to the temple with me, then come back home and have a birthday party with my friends, family, and relatives.

Errors: unnecessary article 'a' before 'young' and plural/verb forms. Type: Singular and plural issue. Also verb form issues: use base verbs after 'helped' (helped me get up), use 'bathe' instead of 'a bath', and 'friends, family, and relatives' is correct plural listing. Ensure verbs agree and noun forms are correct.

× It makes me happy and failed.

✓ It made me happy and excited.

Errors: 'failed' is incorrect choice and tense mismatch. Type: Sentence structure errors. The speaker refers to past habitual event, so use past 'made' and a correct adjective 'excited' instead of 'failed'. This fixes meaning and structure.

× Umm yes, yeah, it depend upon is in small. I was too uh excited and umm think important to celebrate it.

✓ Yes, it depends on the situation. I used to be very excited and thought it was important to celebrate it.

Errors: subject-verb agreement and tense. Type: Present tense issue. Use 'it depends' for general present, and convert 'I was too excited' to 'I used to be very excited' to indicate past feelings; 'think' should be past 'thought' when paired with 'used to' or past context.

× But as I'm getting older and young and mature, I think I'm celebrating a birthday is not that much important because umm of not having a good.

✓ But as I'm getting older and more mature, I think celebrating birthdays is not that important anymore because they are less meaningful to me.

Errors: awkward phrases and tense/structure. Type: Present tense issue. Use present progressive 'I'm getting older', 'more mature', and correct noun/verb forms 'celebrating birthdays is' and clearer reason phrase 'less meaningful to me' instead of 'not having a good'.

× I don't have that most knowledge about a China, but it it our country, the old age or children's bodies are mainly apart to be important to celebrate because they they have their own life and.

✓ I don't have much knowledge about China, but in our country, birthdays of the elderly and children are generally considered important to celebrate because they have their own roles in family life.

Errors: article use and word choice. Type: Incorrect use of articles. Remove 'a' before 'China', replace 'that most knowledge' with 'much knowledge', clarify 'old age or children's bodies' to 'the elderly and children', and improve sentence flow. Use 'in our country' and correct plural nouns and phrasing.