Art— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is relevant but has grammar and repetition issues and is a bit long-winded. Keep answers concise (max 5 sentences). Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repeating phrases, correct noun/verb forms (e.g., "a hobby", "I draw"), and be specific about examples. Use one or two supporting details and a linking word if needed.

예시: Yes, I enjoy drawing a lot. In my free time I often draw cartoon characters and anime because it relaxes me and helps me express my emotions. For example, I recently sketched a character to show how I felt after a stressful week.

제안: The answer is relevant but confused and grammatically incorrect. Make a direct topic sentence, then provide 1–2 clear reasons with linking words. Avoid fillers (uh, like) and keep sentences grammatical (e.g., "I look for galleries to learn about local history and artifacts"). Be specific about what you learn or enjoy.

예시: Yes, I do like visiting galleries. I usually look for museums or galleries when I travel because they help me learn about local history and see old artifacts. For example, at a recent gallery I read labels that explained how traditional pottery was made.

제안: Good idea and reasoning, but wording and tense use need polish. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific reason and a brief plan. Use appropriate linking words (however, but, because) and correct phrases ("at present", "make time for art").

예시: At present I don't have much time to study art, but I would like to learn more in the future because it broadens my imagination. For instance, next year I plan to take a weekend painting class to improve my skills.

제안: The content is good but repetitive and has many hesitations and grammatical errors. Use one clear past-tense topic sentence, then give 1–2 specific examples. Remove filler words (uh) and keep sentences concise. Correct phrases like "drawing was a favourite activity" and "I remember vividly".

예시: Yes, I enjoyed drawing a lot as a child. I often sketched cartoon characters, fruits and vegetables in my free time, and later I even studied drawing as a subject in school, which helped me improve my technique.

× Obviously, yes, drawing is one of my hobby.

✓ Obviously, yes, drawing is one of my hobbies.

The noun 'hobby' should be plural 'hobbies' because the phrase 'one of my ...' requires a plural noun after 'of my'. Use plural nouns after 'one of' to indicate the item is part of a group. Suggestion: Use 'one of my hobbies' whenever listing an item from a set.

× In my leisure time I used to draw many of the things like cartoon characters and animes, which gives me relaxation and I can also I can also make something about my emotions and thinking in A1 canvas.

✓ In my leisure time I used to draw many things like cartoon characters and anime, which gave me relaxation, and I could also express my emotions and thoughts on a canvas.

Multiple issues: 'animes' is incorrect plural; 'anime' is uncountable in English. 'Which gives me relaxation' should match past habitual 'used to', so 'gave me relaxation' is better. Repetition 'I can also I can also' removed. 'Make something about my emotions and thinking in A1 canvas' is unclear; use 'express my emotions and thoughts on a canvas'. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent with 'used to' (past habitual), avoid repetition, and use 'anime' and 'canvas' correctly.

× when I visit any of the new place to explore at that time, I used to uh search many of the things like firstly, I uh, used to look for a museum or a gallery so that I can gain knowledge about how the place was invented and how the ancient individuals uh used to uh make when you have the artifacts and drawing and uh.

✓ When I visited a new place to explore, I used to look for a museum or gallery so that I could learn how the place developed and how ancient people made artifacts and drawings.

Tense and form consistency: 'visit any of the new place' should be 'visited a new place' or 'visit a new place'; 'used to search many of the things' is awkward, better 'used to look for'. 'Can gain' should match past habitual 'could learn'. 'How the place was invented' is unnatural; 'how the place developed' or 'was founded' is better. 'Ancient individuals' should be 'ancient people'. 'Artifacts and drawing' should be plural 'drawings'. Suggestion: Use past tense consistently with 'used to', choose natural collocations like 'look for a museum' and 'ancient people'.

× In present time, I do not have any time to explore new things like learning art, but in the future I would probably increase or involve art things in my life because it gives me exploration and broadens my imagination.

✓ At present, I do not have time to learn art, but in the future I will probably include art in my life because it helps me explore and broadens my imagination.

'In present time' is unnatural; use 'At present' or 'Currently'. 'Do not have any time' is better as 'do not have time'. 'To explore new things like learning art' is wordy; 'to learn art' suffices. 'Would probably increase or involve art things' is ungrammatical; use 'will probably include art in my life'. 'It gives me exploration' is incorrect collocation; 'helps me explore' is better. Tense: future intention is better expressed with 'will probably'. Suggestion: Use natural time expressions and collocations, and match modal/future verbs to speaker certainty.

× When I was a child at that time, drawing was the basic and the primary thing, uh, in my free time to do at that time, I usually draw many of the cartoon characters as well as fruits, vegetables.

✓ When I was a child, drawing was a basic and primary activity; in my free time I usually drew many cartoon characters as well as fruits and vegetables.

Redundancy: 'When I was a child at that time' and 'at that time' repeated. 'Drawing was the basic and the primary thing' awkward; use 'a basic and primary activity'. With past time reference use past tense 'drew' not 'draw'. 'Many of the cartoon characters' should be 'many cartoon characters'. Suggestion: Remove redundant time phrases, use past tense for habitual past actions, and prefer natural nouns like 'activity'.

× And there I remember vividly, uh, drawing was one of my subject in, uh, higher education.

✓ And I remember vividly that drawing was one of my subjects in higher education.

'There I remember vividly' is awkward; use 'I remember vividly that'. 'One of my subject' requires plural 'subjects'. Preposition 'in higher education' is correct but spacing and word order fixed. Suggestion: Use 'one of my subjects' and correct word order 'I remember vividly that...'.