Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Clarify and correct vocabulary and grammar, remove hesitations, and be more specific. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details (what happened in the ad, why it impressed you). Use linking words and avoid filler words like “umm.”

예시: Yes. A TV advertisement for a chocolate snack impressed me when I was a child because it used a catchy jingle and bright cartoon characters. For example, the ad showed animated animals sharing the snack while singing a short melody, which made me remember the product and want to try it.

제안: Good structure and relevant details. Improve by using slightly more precise vocabulary and one linking phrase to connect ideas. Avoid repeating 'sales' and give a brief example.

예시: Yes, I do. I use buses and trains to get to school, so I see ads almost every day; for instance, there are posters advertising new smartphones and seasonal clothing sales with bold images and short slogans targeted at commuters.

제안: Clear opinion and reasons — good. Improve by adding a linking word and a short example or consequence, and correct singular/plural errors ('advertisements'). Keep it concise.

예시: Honestly, I don't like advertisements because they often interrupt TV shows and break my concentration; for example, an unexpected ad can spoil an emotional scene and ruin the atmosphere.

제안: This answer has many vocabulary and grammar errors and lacks clarity. Start with a clear topic sentence stating the type you like (e.g., jingles or emotional ads), then give one specific example with correct names and simple description. Avoid repeating words and use linking words.

예시: I like advertisements with catchy jingles because music helps me remember the brand; for example, a 2016 Vietnamese dairy commercial used a short, memorable song and warm family scenes, which made the product feel trustworthy.

제안: Good content but fix grammar and word choice, and be more precise. Replace 'I do as I'm young' with a direct reason, correct 'score' to 'scroll' and 'video' to 'videos', and include a linking phrase.

예시: Yes, I see a lot of ads because I use my phone and computer daily; for instance, when I scroll through Instagram or Facebook I often encounter sponsored posts and short videos tailored to my interests.

× The commercial featured A catchy ringle, bright colors, and playful cartoon characters sharing their cheat, which made it memorably, umm, appealing.

✓ The commercial featured a catchy jingle, bright colors, and playful cartoon characters sharing their treats, which made it memorable and appealing.

Errors: incorrect capitalization ('A' mid-sentence), wrong word choices ('ringle' -> 'jingle', 'cheat' -> 'treat'), incorrect adverb/adjective form ('memorably' -> 'memorable'), and filler 'umm' should be removed. Suggestion: use appropriate nouns and adjectives, keep consistent word forms, and remove fillers for clarity.

× Most of them promote new product launches, seasonal sales or streaming sales, and I often notice bright visuals and short slogans aimed at commuters.

✓ Most of them promote new product launches, seasonal sales, or streaming services, and I often notice bright visuals and short slogans aimed at commuters.

Error: incorrect noun choice ('streaming sales' is incorrect) and missing comma before 'or' in a list for clarity. Suggestion: use the correct noun 'streaming services' and include the Oxford comma for clarity in lists.

× To be honest, I don't like advertisement because I find them irritating.

✓ To be honest, I don't like advertisements because I find them irritating.

Error: singular countable noun 'advertisement' used without an article; pronoun 'them' indicates plural. Suggestion: make noun plural to match pronoun or use 'an advertisement' with singular pronoun.

× They especially annoy me when they interrupt a TV show or movie because they break my concentration and spoil the mood.

✓ They especially annoy me when they interrupt a TV show or a movie because they break my concentration and spoil the mood.

Error: missing article before 'movie' when paired with 'a TV show'. Suggestion: keep parallel structure by using 'a TV show or a movie'.

× I enjoy a very sweet, memorable Jacques because a good song makes the message stick in my mind.

✓ I enjoy very sweet, memorable jingles because a good song makes the message stick in my mind.

Errors: incorrect proper noun or misspelling ('Jacques' is wrong) and article misuse ('a very sweet, memorable Jacques'). Suggestion: use the plural noun 'jingles' without the indefinite article when speaking generally.

× For example, I like it. The 2016 Vietnam Vietnam used commercial that featured dairy products is catchy turns and clear visuals make the brand very memorable.

✓ For example, I liked the 2016 Vietnam commercial that featured dairy products; its catchy tunes and clear visuals made the brand very memorable.

Errors: fragmented sentences, repeated word ('Vietnam Vietnam'), wrong verb tense/agreement ('is catchy turns'), and noun form ('turns' should be 'tunes'). Suggestion: combine fragments, correct repetition, use past tense for a past commercial, and correct nouns and verb agreement.

× I do as I'm young.

✓ I do because I'm young.

Error: use of 'as' is awkward and unclear in this context; 'because' fits the causal meaning. Suggestion: use 'because' to express reason clearly.

× For example, when I score through Instagram or Facebook, I see many sponsored posts and video as tailored to my interest.

✓ For example, when I scroll through Instagram or Facebook, I see many sponsored posts and videos tailored to my interests.

Errors: wrong verb 'score' should be 'scroll', singular 'video' should be plural 'videos', incorrect phrase 'as tailored to' should be simply 'tailored to', and 'interest' should be plural 'interests'. Suggestion: use correct verb for browsing, match plural nouns, and use proper modifier placement.