Walking— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be clearer and more concise: start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two supporting details with correct grammar and linking words. Avoid repetition and fix vocabulary/grammar errors (e.g., “nearest UH park” unclear, “stars” → “stairs”).

Exemplo: Yes — I walk every day after work to the nearest park; my goal is to reach 3,000 steps. If I fall short, I run for five minutes and then climb the stairs at home to make up the difference.

Sugestão: Use past tense consistently and give one clear reason with a linking word. Avoid fillers and capitalize correctly. Replace vague phrase “outside things” with a specific example.

Exemplo: Yes, my mother often took me for walks when I was a child. I felt comfortable because we would talk about our day and notice things in the neighbourhood, whereas at home we mostly discussed my schoolwork.

Sugestão: Give a logical, specific answer and avoid odd claims (e.g., ‘networking skills’ is unclear). Use linking words and finish the sentence. Replace fillers with clear reasons such as fresh air, exercise, scenery, or socialising.

Exemplo: People enjoy walking in parks because they offer fresh air, pleasant scenery and a chance to socialise. For example, friends often meet there to chat while they exercise.

Sugestão: Start with a direct location and then add a short reason. Avoid focusing too much on sensitive self-description; instead mention health or scenery. Use proper grammar and concise phrasing.

Exemplo: I would like to take a long walk along a coastal promenade because the scenery is relaxing and the fresh air would help me exercise and improve my fitness.

Sugestão: Answer directly with past simple, be concise and correct grammar. Explain one clear reason and outcome, avoiding repetition and broken sentences. Replace awkward phrases like “could not able to bear the cold.”

Exemplo: I recently walked at my gym because it was too cold outside. I joined the gym and used the treadmill regularly, which helped me start losing the weight I had recently gained.

× Yes, I walk a lot every day when I reach home after my work I go to walk in my nearest UH park and my goal is to reach 3000 steps for a day.

✓ Yes, I walk a lot every day. When I get home from work I go for a walk in the nearest UH park, and my goal is to reach 3,000 steps a day.

Errors: incorrect phrase 'go to walk' and awkward 'reach home after my work'. Use 'go for a walk' and 'get home from work'. Also use 'a day' rather than 'for a day' and format numbers as '3,000'. These changes correct verb+ing and common collocations and improve clarity.

× If not then I will run for 5 minutes and later I'll just climb up and down in my stars.

✓ If I do not reach that goal, I run for five minutes and later I just climb up and down the stairs.

Errors: 'If not then I will' is awkward; better to specify 'If I do not reach that goal'. Use simple present or present habit 'I run' to describe a routine. 'Stars' is a misspelling of 'stairs'. Also write numbers in words for small quantities in speech transcripts.

× Yes, when I was a child, my mom used to Take Me Out for a walk and I feel so comfortable when I am outside with my mom because we speak a lot of outside things.

✓ Yes, when I was a child my mom used to take me out for a walk, and I felt very comfortable outside with her because we talked a lot about things outside the house.

Errors: inconsistent tense—'was' and 'used to' require past tense 'felt' and 'talked'. Capitalization error in 'Take Me Out'. 'We speak a lot of outside things' is ungrammatical; use 'we talked a lot about things outside the house' to convey meaning.

× If it is inside my house, mostly we'll speak, uh, about my, uh, academics.

✓ If we are inside the house, we mostly talk about my academics.

Errors: tense and contraction mismatch—use present simple for habitual situations: 'If we are inside the house' and 'we mostly talk'. 'We'll speak' implies future; 'we talk' suits habitual context.

× People like to walk in the park because it also improves their networking skills and also they can able to listen to multiple, uh, friend stories.

✓ People like to walk in parks because it also improves their social skills, and they can hear many friends' stories.

Errors: 'their networking skills' is awkward; 'social skills' is more natural. 'They can able to' is incorrect—use 'they can' or 'they are able to', not both. 'Multiple friend stories' should be 'many friends' stories'.

× It's quite fun in my uh.

✓ It's quite fun for me.

Fragment and incomplete phrase. 'In my uh' is unclear; 'for me' expresses personal opinion clearly.

× Guess I would always prefer to take long walk because recently I have increased my weight for almost 80 KGS and because of that I'm looking obese so I prefer to walk alone and reduce my weight.

✓ I would always prefer to take long walks because recently I have gained weight and now weigh almost 80 kg, so I prefer to walk alone to lose weight.

Errors: missing article 'a long walk' or plural 'long walks'. Use 'gained weight' (past participle) not 'increased my weight'. 'KGS' should be 'kg' and placed after number. 'I'm looking obese' is awkward; use 'I now weigh almost 80 kg' and 'to lose weight' to state purpose.

× Recently I went to walk at my gym because it was cold outside and I could not able to bear the cold.

✓ Recently I went to the gym to walk because it was cold outside and I could not bear the cold.

Errors: 'went to walk at my gym' is awkward—use 'went to the gym to walk'. 'Could not able to' is ungrammatical; use 'could not bear' or 'was not able to bear'.

× So I got a gym membership and then I walked in treadmill.

✓ So I got a gym membership and then I walked on the treadmill.

Preposition error: use 'on the treadmill' not 'in treadmill'. 'Walked on the treadmill' is correct verb plus preposition collocation.

× That was one good thing which I did recently because I was increasing my I gained my weight in the recent.

✓ That was a good decision because I had recently gained weight.

Multiple tense errors and redundancy. Use past perfect 'had gained' or simple past 'had recently gained' to show the weight gain happened before getting the membership. Remove duplicated fragments 'I was increasing my I gained my weight in the recent' which are ungrammatical.