Views— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more direct and fluent. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh), and provide one or two specific reasons or an example using linking words (for example, because, so). Keep it under five sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because they help me remember places I’ve visited. For example, I often photograph sunsets at the beach so I can look back at them when I’m busy.

Sugestão: Begin with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then give specific reasons using linking words (because/so). Avoid repetition and correct simple word choice errors (e.g., 'rural' instead of 'our').

Exemplo: I prefer rural views because I grew up in the countryside and I find cities too crowded. For example, rural areas are quieter and have more nature, so I feel more relaxed there.

Sugestão: Clarify your main idea and correct facts. Start with a clear statement (I prefer views in other countries), then give specific reasons and avoid confusing or inaccurate phrases. Use linking words (because/for example) and finish the sentence. Remove fillers.

Exemplo: I prefer views in other countries because they feel more exotic and different from what I see at home. For example, traveling abroad lets me experience new landscapes and cultures, which makes those views more memorable.

× Yes, I like uh, I can.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures, and I can.

The original sentence mixes 'like' with 'I can' and is incomplete. After 'like' a gerund (verb + -ing) is required when referring to activities. Use 'taking pictures' to show the activity and join ideas with 'and' for clarity.

× If I take a picture later I will be able to watch again same view.

✓ If I take a picture later, I will be able to see the same view again.

Word order and verb choice are incorrect. 'Watch again same view' is unnatural; use 'see the same view again.' The sentence uses a first conditional correctly (present + will), so keep that tense but correct word order and article usage.

× I prefer our areas 'cause I'm from countryside and I don't enjoy staying in the big city.

✓ I prefer rural areas because I'm from the countryside, and I don't enjoy staying in big cities.

Pronoun 'our' is wrong here; 'rural' or 'the countryside' should be used. 'Countryside' needs an article ('the countryside'). Use plural 'big cities' for general statement. Also expand 'cause' to 'because' for formality.

× It's so big for me.

✓ It's too big for me.

'So big for me' can be natural in spoken English but 'too big for me' more precisely expresses that the size is excessive or unsuitable. 'Too' indicates excess relative to the speaker's preference.

× So many people are very noisy so that's why.

✓ There are so many noisy people, so I don't like it.

Original is fragmented and uses 'so that's why' redundantly. Recast to a clear cause-consequence structure: state the fact ('There are so many noisy people') and the result ('so I don't like it').

× I prefer uh, the views in another countries cause uh, I'm from Japan and it's a bit difficult for Japanese to go another countries cause Japan is Ireland so I feel rare when I.

✓ I prefer the views in other countries because I'm from Japan, and it's a bit difficult for Japanese people to travel to other countries because Japan is an island, so I rarely do.

Multiple pronoun and noun errors: 'another countries' is incorrect—use 'other countries.' 'For Japanese' should be 'for Japanese people.' 'Japan is Ireland' is incorrect word choice; likely intended 'an island.' The clause 'I feel rare when I' is incomplete; express intended meaning as 'I rarely do.' Also replace casual 'cause' with 'because' and improve cohesion.