Travelling— Part 1 Báo cáo

Gợi ý: Be more concise and complete the sentence. Reduce fillers (uh) and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail and a brief reason using a linking word. Keep it under five sentences.

Ví dụ: Yes. I often look out of the window when travelling by bus or car because watching green mountains relaxes me. For example, the changing light on the slopes makes the journey feel peaceful, so I try to sit on the side with the best view.

Gợi ý: Correct grammar and pronoun errors, remove fragments and be specific. Use one clear topic sentence, then add two linked supporting details (reason and example). Avoid unfinished fragments and keep coherence with linking words.

Ví dụ: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the car window, especially in picturesque areas like mountain passes. Taking pictures helps me remember the journey and share striking views with friends, for example, I recently captured golden light on a ridge and posted it to my travel group.

Gợi ý: Avoid repetition and fillers. Start with a direct statement, then give two concise and specific reasons using linking words. Keep sentences varied but limited to five or fewer and remove duplicate phrases like "also" used twice.

Ví dụ: I prefer the sea because it calms me and helps me relax. For instance, I enjoy listening to the waves and breathing the fresh ocean air, and I often watch spectacular sunsets there, which makes visits feel restorative.

× 'Yes, I often look out the window at the scenery when traveling by bus or a car because it feels so relaxing when viewing those, uh, greenery mountains, especially in.'

✓ 'Yes, I often look out the window at the scenery when traveling by bus or by car because it feels so relaxing to see the green mountains.'

'Errors: unnecessary article "a" before car (singular/plural/usage) and plural/word choice issues with "greenery mountains" and awkward ending "especially in." Suggestion: remove the article before car, use parallel prepositions "by bus or by car" or simply "by bus or car," replace "greenery mountains" with "green mountains," and complete the clause by using "to see" instead of "when viewing those". Keep present habitual tense.'

× 'Yes, they often take photos of the scenery outside the car window, especially when traveling through picturesque areas like mountains or across other roads.'

✓ 'Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the car window, especially when traveling through picturesque areas like mountains or along other roads.'

'Error: Subject mismatch: student should use first person "I" not "they." This is a pronoun/subject error but aligns with third person singular issue because verb form must match subject. Suggestion: change "they" to "I" so subject and verb agree; replace "across other roads" with "along other roads" for natural preposition use.'

× 'Capturing those moments help me to remember the journey and share the challenging landscape with friends and sometimes the light or weather.'

✓ 'Capturing those moments helps me remember the journey and allows me to share the striking landscape, light, or weather with friends.'

'Error: Subject-verb agreement in present tense: gerund phrase "Capturing those moments" is singular, so the verb should be "helps." Also "challenging landscape" seemed inappropriate; likely intended "striking" or "beautiful." "Help me to remember" is acceptable but "helps me remember" is more natural. Added "allows me to" to clarify sharing.'

× 'Great striking composition that are.'

✓ 'There are great, striking compositions.'

'Error: Incorrect sentence fragment and adjective-noun agreement. "Great striking composition that are" is ungrammatical: the clause "that are" lacks a noun to modify and adjective order/punctuation is off. Suggestion: make a complete sentence: "There are great, striking compositions" or "The composition is great and striking." Ensure adjective order and verb agreement.'

× 'I also love listening to the waves and uh, breathing the fresh ocean air. Also, I also love watching the sunsets by the sea.'

✓ 'I also love listening to the waves, breathing the fresh ocean air, and watching sunsets by the sea.'

'Error: Repetition and pronoun redundancy: using "Also, I also" is repetitive. Combine actions in one sentence using parallel structure. Remove filler "uh" for clarity. Use plural "sunsets" or keep singular but be consistent; plural fits repeated experiences.'