Part 1
Giám khảo
Do you prefer sad or happy music?
Thí sinh
For me, I prefer happy musics firstly when I drive a car. Happy musics reduce my stress and boost up my energies for doing the old days.
Giám khảo
Does happy music make you feel more excited?
Thí sinh
For me, happy musics make me feel more excited when I was in a concert. Being with a my favorite artist is so exciting for me to looking at them.
Do you prefer sad or happy music?
Điểm: 62.0Gợi ý: ปรับไวยากรณ์และความเป็นธรรมชาติ: ใช้คำนามที่ถูกต้อง (music เป็นนามนับไม่ได้ ไม่ต้องเติม -s) และเรียงลำดับความคิดให้กระชับ เช่น บอกเหตุผลหลักหนึ่งหรือสองข้อ ใช้ linking words เช่น because หรือ so เพื่อเชื่อมประโยค นอกจากนี้ แก้วลีที่คลุมเครือ (“for doing the old days”) ให้ชัดเจนว่าหมายถึงอะไร เช่น to get through my day หรือ to remember good times
Ví dụ: I prefer happy music, especially when I drive. Because upbeat songs reduce my stress and give me more energy to get through the day.
Does happy music make you feel more excited?
Điểm: 58.0Gợi ý: แก้ไวยากรณ์เวลาและการใช้คำสรรพนาม: ระวัง tense ให้สอดคล้องกับสถานการณ์ (use present tense for general statements), ใช้ 'music' not 'musics', ลบคำซ้ำซ้อนและแก้โครงสร้างให้เป็นธรรมชาติ เช่น say 'seeing my favourite artist' แทน 'to looking at them' และหลีกเลี่ยงคำฟุ่มเฟือย
Ví dụ: Yes, happy music does make me feel more excited, especially at concerts. Seeing my favourite artist perform live fills me with energy and makes the atmosphere really thrilling.
× For me, I prefer happy musics firstly when I drive a car.
✓ For me, I prefer happy music, especially when I drive a car.
The noun 'music' is uncountable in English, so it should not take the plural form 'musics'. Also 'firstly' is unnecessary and awkward here; 'especially' better expresses the intended meaning. Suggestion: use uncountable nouns without -s and choose appropriate adverbs like 'especially' or 'mostly'.
× Happy musics reduce my stress and boost up my energies for doing the old days.
✓ Happy music reduces my stress and boosts my energy for driving/for my trips.
Again 'music' is uncountable so use singular form. Subject-verb agreement requires singular verb 'reduces' and 'boosts'. 'Energies' is usually uncountable as 'energy'. The phrase 'for doing the old days' is unclear and ungrammatical; likely meant 'for driving' or 'for my trips' or 'for the rest of the day'. Suggestion: use 'energy' (uncountable) and revise unclear time phrase to a clear activity or period.
× For me, happy musics make me feel more excited when I was in a concert.
✓ For me, happy music makes me feel more excited when I am at a concert.
Use uncountable 'music' and match verb tense and subject-verb agreement: singular 'music makes'. The clause 'when I was in a concert' mixes past tense with a general statement; use present simple 'when I am at a concert' to describe a habitual or general reaction. Also use 'at a concert' rather than 'in a concert'.
× Being with a my favorite artist is so exciting for me to looking at them.
✓ Being with my favorite artist is so exciting for me to look at them.
Remove the article 'a' before 'my' — 'my' already specifies the noun. 'To looking' is incorrect; use the infinitive 'to look' or a gerund 'looking' in a different structure. The pronoun 'them' is acceptable if the artist's gender is unknown, but consider 'him' or 'her' if known. Suggestion: say 'Being with my favorite artist is so exciting; I love looking at them.' or 'I love watching them perform.'