工作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is clear and relevant but slightly long and a bit repetitive. Make the opening sentence direct, then give one or two concise supporting details. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct minor grammar (e.g., "master's degree").

示例: I'm not working at the moment. I completed a Bachelor's in Chemistry in 2022 and I am preparing to go abroad to pursue a master's degree, so I'm taking this English proficiency test to meet the requirements.

建议: The answer addresses the question but has grammar errors and redundancy ("in an in a", "basically"). Start with a clear topic sentence and add one specific detail about your role. Keep sentences concise and correct articles and tense.

示例: I'm not working currently. Previously I worked as a secondary school science teacher, where I enjoyed designing lab experiments and supporting students' learning.

建议: The response is positive but ungrammatical and unfinished. Use a clear reason and one concrete example. Avoid filler words like "obviously" and finish your thought. Use correct verb forms and plural/singular agreement.

示例: Yes, it was a great place to work because as a secondary science teacher I could run experiments that made students more curious and engaged, which improved their understanding of concepts.

建议: The meaning is understandable but grammar and coherence need improvement. Use correct tense and count nouns (staff, coworkers). Give one specific example of support you received and finish the sentence. Avoid repeating "place".

示例: Yes, I loved working there because the environment was safe and my coworkers were very supportive—for example, they helped me organize student records and prepare lesson materials.

建议: The idea is interesting but the sentence is unclear and has word choice errors ("decorate the crime level"). State your plan clearly with correct tense, and explain your motivation concretely (e.g., improve criminal investigations).

示例: After I finish my studies, I intend to work in a forensic department because I want to improve crime investigation standards in Nepal by applying scientific techniques to evidence analysis.

× I completed my Bachelor in Chemistry in 2022 from Tribhuvan University.

✓ I completed my Bachelor's degree in Chemistry in 2022 at Tribhuvan University.

Use of past tense 'completed' is correct but the noun phrase is incorrect. 'Bachelor' should be 'Bachelor's degree' and use preposition 'at' for an institution. Also include 'degree' for clarity.

× Since then, I have been preparing to go abroad to pursue my masters degree.

✓ Since then, I have been preparing to go abroad to pursue my master's degree.

Present perfect continuous 'have been preparing' is appropriate. The error is in the noun phrase: 'masters degree' needs an apostrophe and should be 'master's degree'.

× That's why also I'm here today to take my English proficiency test.

✓ That's also why I'm here today: to take my English proficiency test.

Word order is awkward. Place 'also' before 'why' or reposition the phrase. A colon or comma clarifies purpose. This improves natural sentence flow.

× I am basically not working right now, but previously I was working in an in a school as an secondary science teacher and the experience was quite interesting and I love that workplace.

✓ I am not working right now, but previously I worked in a school as a secondary science teacher. The experience was quite interesting and I loved the workplace.

Remove filler 'basically' for clarity. 'Previously I was working' is better as simple past 'I worked' for finished past employment. Remove duplicate 'in an in a'. Use 'a secondary' not 'an secondary'. Maintain consistent past tense 'loved' to match the finished job.

× Yes, obviously that place was a good place to work because I was on secondary level science teacher and I love to do experiment with my students that makes them more curious and obviously make.

✓ Yes, obviously that was a good place to work because I was a secondary-level science teacher, and I loved doing experiments with my students because they made them more curious.

Several issues: use 'a secondary-level science teacher' (article and hyphenated adjective). 'Love to do experiment' should be 'loved doing experiments' (correct verb form and plural). 'That makes them more curious and obviously make' is ungrammatical; use 'because they made them more curious' to keep past tense and correct verb agreement.

× I love that place where I had worked because the place environment was so safe and all of them workers was pretty cooperating with me and they helped me a lot with all my files and.

✓ I loved the place where I worked because the environment was safe, and all the staff were very cooperative; they helped me a lot with my paperwork.

Use past tense 'loved' and simple past 'worked' for a past job. 'Place environment' should be 'the environment'. 'All of them workers was' is incorrect: use 'all the staff were' (plural agreement). 'Pretty cooperating' should be 'very cooperative'. 'Files' in this context is better 'paperwork'. Remove trailing conjunction.

× After my graduation and I tend to work in a forensic department in the crime level because I want to decorate the crime level in Nepal.

✓ After my graduation, I intend to work in a forensic department in criminal investigations because I want to improve crime investigation in Nepal.

'After my graduation and I tend' is ungrammatical; use 'After my graduation, I intend' (future intention). 'Forensic department in the crime level' is unclear; use 'forensic department in criminal investigations'. 'Decorate the crime level' is incorrect word choice; likely 'improve crime investigation' conveys intended meaning.