耐心— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence (Yes/No + brief reason), then add one or two supporting details with correct grammar and vocabulary. Avoid repetition and long, confusing clauses. Use linking words (for example, because, so) to connect ideas.

示例: Yes, I am a patient person because my nursing training and work experience have taught me to stay calm. For example, working with anxious patients has helped me learn techniques to listen carefully and respond calmly, so I can provide better care.

建议: Organize the answer with a clear topic sentence stating what makes you impatient, then give one concrete example with simple sequential linking words (for example, once, then, so). Correct tense and vocabulary (appointment, annoyed) are important.

示例: I get impatient when people are late. For instance, once I waited half an hour for a scheduled tour, and because the delay wasted my time I felt annoyed and frustrated.

建议: Give a clear contrast: say how you react to important vs unimportant tasks. Use linking words (however, but, because) and avoid fillers (uh). Be specific about feelings and reasons.

示例: If a task is important, I stay patient and focused because the outcome matters. However, for unimportant jobs that take too long, I feel annoyed because it feels like my time is being wasted.

建议: Structure the answer with a clear topic sentence and one or two specific examples of situations at work requiring patience. Use concise language and correct collocations (work at a healthcare facility, deal with clients/patients).

示例: Yes, my job at a healthcare facility in Sherbrooke requires a lot of patience because we encounter patients with different needs and behaviors. For example, calming a frightened patient or explaining procedures slowly takes time and practice.

建议: Answer directly that you are more patient, then give 1–2 clear reasons (experience, mentoring) and a brief example. Use past vs present grammar correctly and avoid repetitive phrasing.

示例: Yes, I am more patient now than as a child because work experience and advice from senior colleagues taught me how to handle stressful situations. For instance, my mentor showed me techniques to calm anxious patients, which helped me become more composed over time.

× Yes, I upgraded my patients a person because I learned through practice and more experience when I took the professional degree and nurse.

✓ Yes, I developed my patience because I learned through practice and more experience when I took a professional nursing degree.

The original uses 'patients' (plural noun for sick people) instead of 'patience' (the quality of being patient). Also 'upgraded my patience a person' is ungrammatical. Replace incorrect noun and restructure to 'developed my patience' and 'professional nursing degree' for clarity.

× I learned this through my coworker and also to myself that being patient is also good for yourself and to other people that you you can provide quality of care most importantly to the clients you're.

✓ I learned this from my coworkers and from my own experience: being patient is good for yourself and for other people because you can provide better quality of care, especially to the clients you care for.

Use 'from' instead of 'through' with 'learned', plural 'coworkers' if more than one, and avoid confusing pronoun order. Remove duplicated 'you' and fix 'clients you're' to 'clients you care for'. Clarify possessive/pronoun references and parallel structure.

× I remembered one time that a person had appoint appointment for me to take a tour that specific place, but I waited for half an hour during those time and it took me a. A while and I felt dark during those days so I felt impatient afterwards or annoy.

✓ I remember one time a person had an appointment to show me a specific place, but I waited for half an hour and it took a while; I felt frustrated and became impatient.

Use present simple 'I remember' to narrate a past experience being recalled, or past simple 'I remembered' if emphasizing the past memory—here 'I remember' is more natural. Fix redundant words 'appoint appointment' to 'appointment', remove broken fragments, replace vague 'felt dark' with 'felt frustrated', and use 'became impatient' rather than 'felt... annoy'.

× If I'm doing something very important, even though longer time, I still have patience to do the specific work or a job, but it's not that, uh, important, uh, event or a job.

✓ If I'm doing something very important, even if it takes a long time, I still have the patience to complete the work; but if it's not important, I may become annoyed.

Replace awkward 'even though longer time' with 'even if it takes a long time'. Use 'have the patience' and 'complete the work' for natural collocations. Clarify contrast with 'but if it's not important' and use 'may become annoyed'.

× And a bit annoyed for the reasons that I'm wasting my time to attest that it's not worth it.

✓ I feel a bit annoyed because I think I'm wasting my time and it is not worth it.

Use a full clause with subject and verb: 'I feel a bit annoyed because...' Replace 'to attest that' (incorrect verb) with 'because I think' or 'and I feel it is not worth it' for clear meaning.

× Yes, I'm working a healthcare facility in Sherbrooke and it takes a lot of patience because we need to deal with different behaviors of our clientele.

✓ Yes, I work at a healthcare facility in Sherbrooke and it requires a lot of patience because we need to deal with different behaviors among our clients.

Use 'work at' instead of 'working a', and 'clients' or 'clientele' consistently. 'It requires' matches singular 'facility', and 'deal with different behaviors among our clients' is a clearer phrasing.

× And also I learned being patient requires more experience as well as practice in order to give more dedication to yourself and to the patients that you're taking care for.

✓ I also learned that being patient requires experience and practice so you can give more dedication to yourself and to the patients you take care of.

Add 'that' after 'learned', simplify 'more experience as well as practice' to 'experience and practice', and correct verb form 'take care of'. Use consistent pronouns 'you' or 'I'; here 'you' is preserved as general advice.

× Yes, when I'm growing up, uh, through experience, I learned to become patients as well as different knowledge as well as practices most important than my current workplace that my senior, uh, coworker also teach me how to deal with, uh, difficulties and anxiety.

✓ Yes, as I grew up and gained experience, I learned to become patient and acquired knowledge and practices, especially at my current workplace where my senior coworkers taught me how to deal with difficulties and anxiety.

Use past tense 'as I grew up' for completed development. 'Become patient' (singular) not 'patients'. Change 'teach' to past 'taught' and fix word order and redundancy ('knowledge and practices', 'especially at my current workplace').

× Uh, you need to be patient to yourself 1st and now I'm when I'm already matured.

✓ You need to be patient with yourself first, and now that I am mature, I am more patient.

Use 'patient with yourself' not 'patient to yourself'. Replace '1st' with 'first', and correct 'when I'm already matured' to 'now that I am mature' or 'now that I have matured' for natural English.