爱好— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar, use natural collocations and limit to 3–4 sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give specific brief examples with linking words. Correct common errors (e.g., “in the bathroom”, “write posts online”, “take photographs”).

示例: I have a few hobbies. For example, I enjoy singing in the bathroom because it helps me relax, and I often write short posts online to share my feelings. I also like taking photographs of landscapes when I travel.

建议: Improve grammar and clarity: use past tense consistently and say specific activities. Avoid vague phrases like “the other place.” Use linking words to show time or frequency. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

示例: Yes. When I was a child I often sang with my older sister in my father’s car whenever we went on trips. Those car-singing sessions were a fun way for us to pass the time.

建议: Make one clear topic sentence stating the hobby, then give a concise reason and example. Correct grammar and remove redundant words. Use linking words like “since” or “because.”

示例: Yes, I have enjoyed singing since I was a child. I have always used singing to relax and relieve stress because it makes me feel happier and calmer.

建议: Compare clearly and use correct comparative structures. Avoid awkward phrases like “breathiness” and “sing property.” Use natural expressions to describe differences and provide a short example. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

示例: Yes, my sister also likes singing, but she is more confident on stage and performs for audiences. I prefer singing privately, for example in the bathroom or at home, because I feel more comfortable there.

× I really like singing at bathroom and also like to write some words on the Internet to share my feeling.

✓ I really like singing in the bathroom and also like to write some words on the internet to share my feelings.

Use of prepositions: 'at bathroom' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'in' for enclosed spaces ('in the bathroom'). 'On the Internet' is commonly written as 'on the internet' or 'on the Internet'—keep lowercase 'internet' in modern usage. Also 'feeling' should be plural 'feelings' to match the idea of sharing various emotions. Suggestion: use 'in the bathroom' and 'share my feelings'.

× Also I like to be a photographer to picture the scenery.

✓ Also I like to be a photographer and take pictures of the scenery.

Article and verb choice: 'to picture the scenery' is unnatural; use 'take pictures of the scenery'. 'Be a photographer' is fine but better connected with 'and'. Suggestion: use 'take pictures of' when describing photographing scenes.

× When I was a child I always stay with my older sister and send a song with her on my daddy's car when the time we go traveling to the other place.

✓ When I was a child I always stayed with my older sister and sang songs with her in my daddy's car when we traveled to other places.

Tense and word choice: The sentence describes past habitual actions, so past tense verbs are required: 'stay' -> 'stayed', 'send a song' -> 'sang songs', 'go traveling' -> 'traveled'. Preposition and collocation corrections: 'in my daddy's car' is natural; 'to the other place' -> 'to other places'. Suggestion: use past simple for past habits and choose natural verb collocations.

× Yes, I have a hobbies I possess is for a long time the hobby is singing.

✓ Yes, one hobby I have had for a long time is singing.

Singular/plural and sentence structure: 'a hobbies' mixes singular article 'a' with plural 'hobbies'—use singular 'hobby' or rephrase. The original is also awkward; rephrase to 'one hobby I have had for a long time is singing.' Suggestion: ensure article and noun number agree and simplify the clause.

× When I was a child I tried to sing in and until I grew up I always like singing to relax my stress and to.

✓ When I was a child I tried to sing, and until I grew up I always liked singing to relieve my stress.

Verb forms and word choice: Use past tense 'liked' for past habitual action. 'Tried to sing in' is incomplete and unclear; removed 'in'. 'Relax my stress' is unnatural; use 'relieve my stress' or 'relax' without 'my stress'. Also remove trailing 'and to.' Suggestion: use clear verbs and correct past tense for past habits, and use natural collocations like 'relieve stress'.

× Yes, my sister is also like singing, but the differences between my sister and I is my sister have more breathiness to stand on the stage to sing for everyone, but I like to sing property or on the bathroom.

✓ Yes, my sister also likes singing, but the difference between my sister and me is that my sister has a stronger stage presence and can sing for everyone, while I like to sing privately or in the bathroom.

Pronouns and subject-verb agreement: 'my sister is also like singing' should be 'my sister also likes singing' (verb agreement). Use 'the difference between my sister and me' (object pronoun after 'between'). 'My sister have' -> 'my sister has' (subject-verb agreement). 'More breathiness to stand on the stage' is unclear; better: 'has a stronger stage presence'. 'Sing property' is incorrect—likely 'privately'. Use 'in the bathroom' not 'on the bathroom'. Suggestion: correct pronoun case after 'between', ensure subject-verb agreement, and choose clearer vocabulary for 'stage presence' and 'privately'.