走路— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more direct and natural: start with a clear topic sentence about how often you walk, then give one or two specific supporting details. Use correct grammar (e.g., I work a lot → I work from home; "Is as I know" is incorrect). Keep it under five sentences and avoid redundancy.

示例: Yes, I walk every day for about an hour, usually in the morning. I try to reach around 10,000 steps because I believe that helps my health. For example, yesterday I walked for an hour around my neighborhood park.

建议: Answer directly and avoid unclear fragments. State a clear topic sentence about your childhood activity, then provide one specific example with correct numbers and grammar. Remove incoherent phrases (e.g., "I can I want to give him").

示例: Yes, I used to go outside a lot as a child and was much more active than now. For instance, I remember spending whole days playing outside and sometimes walking over 15,000 steps when I visited relatives in the countryside.

建议: Give a clear reason first, then support it with specific contrasts and examples. Use correct collocations (e.g., "breathe fresher air" → "breathe fresher air") and smoother linking phrases like "because" or "for example." Keep sentences concise.

示例: People like walking in parks because the environment is calmer and the air is fresher. For example, walking among trees is more relaxing than walking along busy city streets, where traffic noise and pollution make the walk less pleasant.

建议: Start with a concise topic sentence stating your preference, then add one or two specific details explaining why. Use correct conditional tense and singular/plural agreement (e.g., "if I had the chance"; "a forest that has a lake"). Avoid repeating the same idea.

示例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk in a forest, preferably one with a lake. I enjoy the combination of trees and water because it feels peaceful and there are nice views for resting along the walk.

建议: Give a clear, well-structured answer: state where you went, one reason why it was memorable, and a specific detail (how you got there or costs). Correct place names/pronunciation and grammar (e.g., "I went there by my private car"; clarify currency). Avoid repeating words.

示例: Last week I went to Camelburg Forest, which I think is one of the most beautiful forests near Istanbul. I drove there in my car, and there was an entrance fee of about 50 lira, but the scenery and trails were worth it.

× Yes, I work a lot even I need to stay at home.

✓ Yes, I work a lot even though I need to stay at home.

Missing conjunction 'even though' to connect contrasting clauses; use 'even though' to show contrast in present tense. Suggestion: use 'even though' or 'although' before the subordinate clause.

× I walk at least one hour per day.

✓ I walk for at least one hour per day.

Duration of time with verbs of motion/exercise requires 'for' before a time period. Suggestion: insert 'for' to indicate duration.

× Is as I know that everyone needs to work at least 10,000 steps in one day to improve their health situation I think.

✓ As far as I know, everyone needs to walk at least 10,000 steps in one day to improve their health, I think.

Sentence structure is awkward and missing introductory phrase 'As far as I know'; 'work' is incorrect verb here (use 'walk'); 'health situation' is unnatural—use 'health'; punctuation needed. Suggestion: begin with 'As far as I know,' use 'walk', and add commas for clarity.

× Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child?

✓ Did you often go outside for a walk when you were a child?

Question uses past simple correctly, but collocation is 'go outside for a walk' not 'to have a walk'. Suggestion: use natural collocation 'for a walk'.

× When I was child I was more active than my current situation.

✓ When I was a child I was more active than I am now.

Missing article 'a' before 'child' and incorrect comparison structure; 'more active than my current situation' should compare people, not situations. Suggestion: use 'a child' and 'than I am now'.

× Generally when I was young I walked at least 15,000 step in one day and I can I want to give him one example from my childhood.

✓ Generally, when I was young I walked at least 15,000 steps in one day and I want to give one example from my childhood.

Plural 'steps' needed for the number; extraneous 'can I' and incorrect 'give him' (wrong object). Suggestion: remove 'can I' and 'him', use 'steps' and 'give one example'.

× In one day I walked 25.

✓ On one day I walked 25,000 steps.

Unclear expression: 'In one day I walked 25' lacks unit and incorrect preposition. Use 'On one day' or 'One day' and specify '25,000 steps'. Suggestion: include the unit 'steps' and correct preposition.

× I think it is related with psychology because when you walk in the park you can take a breath fresher and also you feel more comfortable.

✓ I think it is related to psychology because when you walk in the park you can breathe fresher air and you feel more comfortable.

Use 'related to' not 'related with'; 'take a breath fresher' is ungrammatical—use 'breathe fresher air'; remove unnecessary 'also' or place it appropriately. Suggestion: use correct verb 'breathe' and collocation 'fresher air'.

× And I think that it is, for example, walking in the city streets are not as good as walking in the parks.

✓ And I think, for example, that walking in the city streets is not as good as walking in parks.

Subject-verb agreement and article misuse: after 'that' the clause needs 'walking ... is'; 'parks' can be plural without 'the'. Suggestion: restructure to 'that walking ... is not as good as walking in parks'.

× If I have a chance I want to walk in the forest, but if forest has a lake inside of them, it would be much more better for me.

✓ If I had a chance I would like to walk in the forest, and if the forest had a lake in it, it would be much better for me.

Mixing real/unreal conditionals: the question asks a hypothetical—use past tense 'had' with 'would'; 'more better' is incorrect ('better' alone); 'forest' needs 'the' and 'in it' instead of 'inside of them'. Suggestion: use second conditional and correct comparatives.

× And generally at my free time I prefer walking in the forest which is next to the lake.

✓ And generally in my free time I prefer walking in the forest that is next to the lake.

Use 'in my free time' not 'at my free time'; relative pronoun 'that' or 'which' can be used but 'that' is more typical for defining clauses; 'the forest that is next to the lake' is clearer. Suggestion: use 'in my free time' and 'that' for defining clause.

× Where did you go for a walk lately?

✓ Where did you go for a walk recently?

'Lately' is acceptable but 'recently' is more natural in questions about past events; no grammar error strictly, but prefer 'recently'. Suggestion: use 'recently' for clarity.

× Last week I went to Camel Burgess Forest and I think that it is the one of the most beautiful forests in Istanbul.

✓ Last week I went to Camel Burgess Forest and I think that it is one of the most beautiful forests in Istanbul.

Use 'one of the' without 'the' before it. Suggestion: remove 'the' before 'one of the'.

× I went there by by via my private car and entrance is not free to Camaro gas forest.

✓ I went there in my private car and the entrance to Camel Burgess Forest is not free.

Double 'by by' and 'via' redundant; correct preposition for private car is 'in' or 'by'; 'entrance is not free to Camaro gas forest' has word order and name errors—use 'the entrance to Camel Burgess Forest'. Suggestion: simplify to 'in my private car' and 'the entrance to [forest] is not free'.

× I paid 50.

✓ I paid 50 lira.

Amount needs currency/unit; bare number is unclear. Suggestion: include the currency or unit after the number.