建筑— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise, correct grammar, and organize into a clear topic sentence plus one or two supporting details. Use linking words and accurate measurements (e.g., "two or three storeys"). Avoid hesitations and incomplete phrases.

示例: No, there aren’t any tall buildings near my home. I live in a small town where most houses are only two or three storeys high, and there are large green fields surrounding the area, so the skyline is quite low.

建议: Reduce hesitations and repetitive phrases. Start with a direct topic sentence and follow with a clear reason and an example. Use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas and include one specific example of what you photograph.

示例: No, I don’t usually photograph buildings. I prefer photographing people and natural scenery because I’m attracted to colors and moods in nature, for example I often take photos of lakes and mountain views during sunset.

建议: Give a direct answer then add specific details and avoid repetition and grammar mistakes. Use linking words such as "because" and provide one concrete example of a place you would like to visit.

示例: No, I wouldn’t choose to visit a building; I prefer natural places. For example, I’d love to visit the Himalayas to see the mountains, rivers and wildlife because I enjoy peaceful landscapes and birdwatching.

建议: Answer directly, correct the phrasing (e.g., "afraid of heights"), and provide one or two concise supporting reasons with linking words. Avoid repeating the same idea.

示例: No, I don’t want to live in a tall building because I’m afraid of heights. Instead, I’d prefer a house with a garden where I can enjoy plants and fresh air, which suits my love of nature.

× No, there are not any taller buildings in my home because I live in a small town and there are houses around me but it only two to three meters high, two to three stories high and there are more green fields and.

✓ No, there are not any tall buildings near my home because I live in a small town and the houses around me are only two to three meters high, two to three stories, and there are more green fields.

The sentence has plural/singular agreement and word choice issues. 'Taller buildings' implies comparison without a reference; 'tall buildings' fits the question. 'In my home' is incorrect preposition; use 'near my home'. 'It only two to three meters high' mixes singular pronoun with plural subject and omits a verb; change to 'the houses... are only two to three meters high'. Also remove the trailing 'and'. Suggestion: ensure nouns and verbs agree in number, use correct prepositions, and maintain parallel structure.

× No, I'm not uh, more interested in taking photos of buildings.

✓ No, I'm not very interested in taking photos of buildings.

'More interested in' implies a comparison but no comparison target is given; 'very interested' or 'not particularly interested' is appropriate. Replace filler 'uh' and choose a correct adverb. Suggestion: avoid unnecessary comparative form when no comparison is stated and eliminate fillers.

× Uh, I'm interested in, uh, uh, photographing uh, people or natural scenery, uh, because I'm, uh, much attracted, uh, I'm more attracted toward, uh, nature as compared.

✓ I'm interested in photographing people or natural scenery because I am more attracted to nature.

Use 'attracted to' rather than 'attracted toward' for preference. Remove redundant fillers and awkward comparative 'as compared' which lacks an object. Also simplify 'much attracted' to 'more attracted' only if comparing; here 'more attracted to nature' implies comparison to other subjects. Suggestion: use 'attracted to' and complete comparisons with a clear reference or omit them.

× No, I don't want to visit buildings, I want to visit natural scenery like fields, mountains, rivers, the clouds roaming around and all the the chirping of birds.

✓ No, I don't want to visit buildings; I want to visit natural scenery like fields, mountains, rivers, clouds, and the chirping of birds.

Plurality and article repetition: 'the clouds roaming around' is wordy; 'clouds' suffices. Remove duplicate 'the the'. Use appropriate punctuation to separate clauses. Ensure lists use parallel structure. Suggestion: proofread to remove duplicated words and keep list items parallel.

× These things attracts me more as compared to man mad things that's why.

✓ These things attract me more compared to man-made things; that's why.

Subject-verb agreement error: plural subject 'These things' requires plural verb 'attract' not 'attracts'. 'Man mad' is a misspelling; use 'man-made'. 'As compared to' is awkward without an object; 'compared to' is sufficient. Suggestion: match verb form to subject number and use hyphenation for compound adjective 'man-made'.

× Uh, instead of living in tall building, I want to live in a house, uh, with a garden, uh, because I'm, uh, more attracted toward nature.

✓ Instead of living in a tall building, I want to live in a house with a garden because I'm more attracted to nature.

Missing article before 'tall building' — use 'a tall building'. Use 'attracted to' rather than 'attracted toward'. Remove filler 'uh' and unnecessary commas. Suggestion: include articles before singular countable nouns and prefer 'attracted to' for preferences.

× Uh, that's why, uh, instead of living in tall building, I prefer.

✓ That's why, instead of living in a tall building, I prefer to live in a house.

Sentence is incomplete and missing an object after 'prefer'. Also missing article 'a' before 'tall building'. Complete the sentence by stating the preference 'to live in a house'. Suggestion: ensure sentences have a verb and object to express the full idea and include necessary articles.