旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details linked with a connector. Also correct small grammar issues (e.g., "it is a very good thing" → "it's enjoyable") and avoid filler words like "like" and repeated phrases.

示例: Yes, I do. I always enjoy looking out of the window when I travel because I can see changing landscapes, such as towns and fields, and it helps me relax. For example, on long bus journeys I often watch the countryside pass by and breathe fresh air, which makes the trip more pleasant.

建议: Reduce hesitation and repetition, and use clearer vocabulary ("scenery" not "sceneries"). Give a concise topic sentence followed by specific examples linked with words like "for example" or "such as." Keep to two or three sentences.

示例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the window. For example, I photograph towns, crop fields and sunsets to capture interesting moments and changing landscapes during the journey.

建议: Give a direct opinion in one clear sentence, then support it with a reason and a short example. Remove fillers and correct grammar ("both" not "the both", "it depends on the weather"). Use linking words like "however" or "in winter" for coherence.

示例: I like both the mountains and the sea. It depends on the season: in summer I prefer the sea because I enjoy swimming and warm weather, but in winter I prefer the mountains because I like snowy scenery and winter sports.

× Like it is very good thing and I I not only enjoy the view, I also get the fresh air.

✓ Like it is a very good thing and not only do I enjoy the view, I also get some fresh air.

Article error and sentence structure: 'very good thing' needs the indefinite article 'a'. Also the clause 'I I not only enjoy...' is ungrammatical and repetitive; use the correlative structure 'not only... but also' or invert the auxiliary for emphasis: 'not only do I enjoy... I also get...'. Use 'some fresh air' rather than 'the fresh air' because fresh air in general is uncountable and unspecified.

× Whenever, uh, I travel, I really like to take pictures of the sceneries of different views.

✓ Whenever I travel, I really like to take pictures of different scenes.

Plural form: 'scenery' is an uncountable noun and should not take the plural 'sceneries'. Use 'scenes' or keep 'scenery' without plural. Also 'of different views' is redundant; 'different scenes' is clearer.

× Like whenever the changes, I, whenever I see the changes like town, sometime crops, fields and the sunset as well to capture the moment and uh, and sometimes it's a very good uh, or interesting views.

✓ Whenever the scenery changes, for example towns, crops, fields, and sunsets, I try to capture the moment because sometimes the views are very interesting.

This sentence has multiple structure issues: awkward word order, missing or wrong verbs, and inconsistent plurality. 'Whenever the changes' is incomplete; specify 'the scenery changes'. Use examples in a parallel list with commas and connectives. Use 'views are' (plural) to agree with plural list. Replace 'sometime' with 'sometimes' and remove filler words. Ensure a clear main clause with subject and verb.

× Well, as, uh, I live in Canada, so I like the both because I lived in the, uh, BC area.

✓ Well, I live in Canada, so I like both because I lived in the BC area.

Pronoun/article issue: 'the both' is incorrect; use 'both' without 'the'. Also unnecessary fillers removed. Keep tense consistent: 'I lived in the BC area' refers to past residence; if still living there say 'I live in the BC area'.

× So in the, it's depends on the weather in the like in summers, I really like to, uh, I really, uh, I prefer to see the, uh, seas, but in the, uh, winters I like to see the mountains, which are like, uh.

✓ So it depends on the weather: in the summer I prefer to see the sea, but in winter I like to see the mountains.

Preposition and article errors and tense/number consistency: 'in summers' should be 'in the summer' (general season use) or 'in summers' (less common). 'Prefer to see the seas' is odd; use 'the sea' or 'the ocean' when speaking generally. Remove extra fillers and comma issues. Use 'it depends' not 'it's depends'. 'In the winters' should be 'in winter' for general statements.