旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and fluent. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetitions and filler words (uh, I, etc.). Also correct small grammar points: “look out of the window” or “look out the window,” and say “when I travel” instead of “when I'm traveling” for shorter answers. Aim for 2–4 sentences, using varied vocabulary (e.g. imagine, plan, relax).

示例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. I often listen to music while I watch the landscape, and this helps me think about my future plans and feel more confident about my goals. Seeing new places also relaxes me and gives me fresh ideas.

建议: Give a clear reason and a specific example. Avoid repeating phrases and unclear words (e.g. “summation”, “pills”). Use linking words like “because” or “so” to connect ideas, and be precise about what you want to remember. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and check grammar: “I often take pictures of scenery outside the window because I want to remember interesting buildings or views.”

示例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the car window because I want to remember interesting buildings or views I see along the way. For example, last month I photographed an old bridge and the photo reminded me to research its history later.

建议: Answer directly with a clear preference and give two specific reasons using linking words. Correct word choice and grammar: say “I prefer the mountains” or “I like going to the mountains” and “I enjoy horse riding” or “riding horses.” Avoid fillers and make sentences coherent. Include sensory details (sounds, views) to be specific. Keep to 2–4 sentences.

示例: I prefer the mountains because they feel calm and comfortable to me. I enjoy riding horses there, and the wind through the trees and the wide views inspire me and help me relax.

× I, I all, yes, I, I always lookout the window at the scenery when I'm traveling by bus or Carl, uh, and in, I always, uh, when I look, I always imagine, uh, about future, about my plans, how I can become more confident, uh, with music. I like, listen, listen to music and.

✓ Yes, I always look out of the window at the scenery when I'm traveling by bus or by car. When I look, I always imagine the future and my plans, such as how I can become more confident with music. I like to listen to music.

The original contains repeated fragments, false starts and incorrect word choice ('lookout' as one word, 'Carl' instead of 'car'), so it is a run-on and fragmented sentence. Suggestions: remove filler words and repetitions, use the correct phrasal verb 'look out of' or 'look out', write 'look out of the window' or 'look out the window', and split into clear sentences. Use 'I like to listen to music' for correct infinitive usage. Grammar problem type ID:26

× I often take pictures, I often take pictures of the scenery outside the car window because I want to always remember the summation when I say new something new builds and interesting pills and all. And also this can uh, give me a motivation to do something and remember about important.

✓ I often take pictures of the scenery outside the car window because I always want to remember the moment when I see something new, like interesting buildings and places. This also gives me motivation to do things and helps me remember what is important.

Errors include repetition, incorrect word choice ('summation', 'say', 'pills'), awkward preposition use ('remember about important') and verb form agreement ('give' should be 'gives'). Suggestions: use precise nouns ('moment', 'buildings', 'places'), correct verb agreement ('gives'), remove extra fillers, and use 'remember what is important' instead of 'remember about important'. Grammar problem type ID:22

× I'm crave to go mountains because it's very calm and for me it's comfortable.

✓ I crave going to the mountains because they are very calm and comfortable for me.

'Crave' is not usually followed by 'to' + verb in this meaning; the gerund 'going' or 'to go' with different phrasing is better. Also 'mountains' needs a preposition 'to the mountains' and plural subject requires plural verb 'they are'. Suggestions: use 'crave going to the mountains' or 'I want to go to the mountains' and match verb number with the plural noun. Grammar problem type ID:8

× I, I like ride horse. It's give me motivation and also another views toward I always want to hear, uh, sounds of wind forest and it's very nice. Give me inspiration.

✓ I like riding horses. It gives me motivation, and I also like other views. I always want to hear the sounds of the wind in the forest; it's very nice and gives me inspiration.

Use the gerund 'riding' after 'like' for habitual activities. 'Horse' should be plural or count with an article: 'horses' or 'ride a horse'. 'It gives' needs third-person singular agreement. Sentence fragments and missing prepositions ('sounds of wind forest' -> 'sounds of the wind in the forest') must be corrected. Combine into complete sentences to improve clarity. Grammar problem type ID:27