旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Improve grammar (verb forms, articles) and conciseness. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., saying window seat twice) and keep to 3–4 short sentences.

示例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus because I enjoy the changing scenery. For example, last month when I went to Bandung, I booked a window seat and watched the countryside pass by. The views of rice fields and hills were breathtaking, so I spent most of the trip taking it all in.

建议: Work on clarity and vocabulary; remove fillers and correct collocations (e.g., 'take photos' not 'text picture'). Give a concise reason and a specific example, using linking words to connect ideas. Keep answers natural and under five sentences.

示例: Yes, I often take photos of scenery outside the car window because unusual views attract my attention. For instance, I photographed a steep mountainside and a terraced field that I had never seen before. I later used these photos to remember the trip and share highlights with friends.

建议: Clarify the preference (mountains or sea) and use correct tense and article usage. Avoid hesitation and vague phrases; state your choice clearly, then support it with one or two specific reasons linked logically. Use varied vocabulary (tranquil, refreshing, panoramic).

示例: To be honest, I prefer the sea because it makes me feel peaceful and relaxed. For example, the sound of waves and the fresh sea breeze help me unwind, and I enjoy walking along the shore to admire the wide, open horizon.

× Definitely yes. When I traveling by a bus, I like sitting near the window and then I can look the view.

✓ Definitely yes. When I travel by bus, I like sitting near the window so I can look at the view.

The original uses incorrect verb form 'traveling' after 'when I' which requires the base form 'travel' for present simple. Also 'by a bus' is unnatural; use 'by bus'. 'Look the view' is incorrect verb-preposition combination; use 'look at the view'. Use 'so' instead of 'and then' for clearer cause-effect. Grammar problem type ID:6

× For example, when I went to Bandu last month, I book a seat, a window seat and I enjoy the breathtaking view.

✓ For example, when I went to Bandu last month, I booked a window seat and enjoyed the breathtaking view.

The sentence mixes past and present tense. 'Went' is past, so following verbs must be past: 'book' -> 'booked', 'enjoy' -> 'enjoyed'. Also combine 'a seat, a window seat' into 'a window seat' for conciseness. Grammar problem type ID:5

× Definitely yes. I enjoy a text picture when I saw, uh, it's attract my attention, such as, uh, mountainside or umm, the landscape that I can uh, I never see before.

✓ Definitely yes. I enjoy taking pictures when I see something that attracts my attention, such as a mountainside or a landscape I have never seen before.

Multiple tense and form errors: 'enjoy a text picture' is incorrect—use 'enjoy taking pictures'. 'When I saw' mixes past with present; use 'when I see' or make entire clause past. 'It's attract' should be 'that attracts' (third-person singular). 'The landscape that I can I never see before' is ungrammatical; use present perfect 'I have never seen before' to indicate past experience relevant now. Grammar problem type ID:6

× To be honest, I prefer C because uh, I feel more peaceful when I uh, visited this place.

✓ To be honest, I prefer C because I felt more peaceful when I visited this place.

Mixes present 'prefer' with past 'visited' but the clause describes a past feeling during the visit, so use past 'felt' and 'visited'. If you intend a general preference based on experience, use present perfect: 'I have felt more peaceful when I visited this place.' Ensure tense consistency. Grammar problem type ID:5

× I like uh, it's a tranquil place so I can enjoy the breathtaking scenery, uh, see the water and fresh air.

✓ I like it because it's a tranquil place where I can enjoy the breathtaking scenery, see the water, and breathe the fresh air.

The original mixes 'I like uh, it's' which is a run-on and ungrammatical. Replace with 'I like it because it's' to link reason. Use 'where' to introduce the clause describing the place. 'See the water and fresh air' is incorrect—'breathe the fresh air' is appropriate. Add commas for list clarity. Grammar problem type ID:26