旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be careful with grammar (verb forms and articles) and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two concise supporting details using linking words. Use more precise vocabulary (e.g., 'scenery', 'landscape', 'relaxing') and correct verb forms: 'when I travel' and 'I enjoy looking'.

示例: Yes, I do. I often look out at the scenery when I travel by bus, car or train because it helps me relax. For example, on train journeys I enjoy watching the changing landscape, especially green fields and small towns, which feels peaceful.

建议: Correct past/tense and unclear phrases and give specific details. Avoid unclear expressions like 'niche law'. Use linking words to explain when and why you take photos. Keep it concise and natural.

示例: Yes, I often take photos from the car window when the light and colors are striking. For instance, I stopped once to photograph a bright sunset over rice fields because the contrast and colors were unusually vivid.

建议: Improve grammar (tenses, articles, comparative forms) and sentence fluency. Start with a direct statement of preference, then briefly explain reasons using linking words (e.g., 'because', 'now'). Provide one clear supporting detail and avoid trailing off.

示例: I prefer the sea now. Although I used to like the mountains in Thailand because they are cooler, living in Australia has made me enjoy the ocean more because the beaches are pleasant and the water looks beautiful.

× I always look out the window at the view when I traveling by bus or car or train as well.

✓ I always look out the window at the view when I am traveling by bus, car, or train as well.

The sentence needs the present continuous construction 'am traveling' (be + present participle) to be grammatically correct. The original used 'I traveling' which omits the auxiliary verb. Use 'am' before 'traveling' to form the present participle structure for ongoing actions. Suggestion: Use 'I am traveling' or the simple present 'I travel' depending on meaning.

× I really like to look at the view there, especially in the train.

✓ I really like to look at the view there, especially on the train.

English uses the preposition 'on' with trains, not 'in', when referring to being aboard. Using 'in the train' is not standard here. Change the preposition to 'on' to match common usage. Suggestion: Say 'on the train' when referring to being aboard a train.

× Especially when I saw the view that really niche law and the color very, very clear.

✓ Especially when I see a view that is really unique and the colors are very, very clear.

The original sentence mixes past tense 'saw' with the present context and contains unclear wording 'niche law'. The student likely meant 'unique' and needs present simple 'see' to match habitual action. Additionally, the adjective-noun agreement and verb 'is/are' are required: 'a view that is really unique' and 'the colors are very clear.' Suggestion: Use clear adjectives ('unique') and keep consistent tense—present simple for habitual actions.

× I always take a photo of that.

✓ I always take a photo of it.

While 'a photo of that' is understandable, 'that' is less natural when referring to a view; 'it' is preferred. The issue is pronoun reference rather than number; however, to keep natural singular reference use 'it.' Suggestion: Use 'a photo of it' or 'photos of it' if plural.

× Umm, actually, before I prefer mountain because it's more cold in Thailand, but now when I live in Australia I prefer ocean or sea because the weather here is quite good, not too hot for the sea and the color of the sea really nice and.

✓ Umm, actually, before I preferred mountains because it was colder in Thailand, but now that I live in Australia I prefer the ocean or the sea because the weather here is quite nice, not too hot for the sea, and the color of the sea is really beautiful.

Several tense, agreement, article, and adjective issues occur. 'Before' with a past preference requires past tense 'preferred.' 'Mountain' should be plural 'mountains.' 'More cold' is incorrect; use 'colder.' For the present situation, 'now that I live' fits better than 'when I live.' Use definite articles 'the ocean/the sea.' Add 'is' before 'really beautiful' to complete the clause. Also adjust word order: 'quite nice' and 'not too hot for the sea.' Suggestion: Keep past reference in past tense and current reference in present tense; use correct comparative forms and articles.