视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and avoid repetition; start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Reduce hesitation and filler words. Also correct small grammar errors (e.g., 'take picture to take pictures' → 'take pictures when I'm alone').

示例: Not really; I rarely take photos when I'm alone. However, I take many pictures when I go out with my wife because she loves photography, and she often takes five or more shots of the same scene.

建议: Provide a clear preference or say you like both then contrast with specific reasons using linking words. Avoid vague phrases ('do not give me spacious') and reduce hesitations. Use precise vocabulary (spacious, vibrant, peaceful, expansive). Keep to 3–4 sentences.

示例: I enjoy both, but for different reasons. Urban views are vibrant and offer attractive sights throughout the day, especially in the morning and evening. In contrast, rural views feel more expansive and peaceful during the day, though they can be very dark at night and sometimes feel a little eerie.

建议: Give a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then support it with one or two specific reasons and a linking word. Avoid repetition ('I traveled many countries' twice) and fix grammar ('they like these personal feelings' → 'they lack those personal feelings').

示例: I prefer views in my own country because they are connected to my childhood and personal memories. Although I have traveled to many countries with beautiful scenery, those places do not evoke the same emotional connection as the landscapes at home.

× Actually no, it's very rare for me to take picture to take pictures if if I'm alone.

✓ Actually no, it's very rare for me to take pictures if I'm alone.

Errors: incorrect article and plural ('take picture' -> 'take pictures') and duplicated 'to take' and repeated 'if'. Use plural 'pictures' after 'take' when talking generally. Remove the extra words and duplication. Suggestion: say 'It's very rare for me to take pictures if I'm alone.'

× However, I take many photos, uh wherever I go because of my wife.

✓ However, I take many photos wherever I go because of my wife.

Error: unnecessary filler comma and misplaced 'uh'. The comma before 'wherever' breaks the sentence flow. 'Because of my wife' correctly explains the reason but keep clauses contiguous. Suggestion: remove filler and extra comma.

× Actually she loves taking pictures a lot.

✓ Actually, she loves taking pictures a lot.

Error: missing comma after 'Actually' for natural speech pause (optional) but no grammatical error otherwise. Keep as is; added comma for clarity. No change to tense or form.

× She even loves to take 5 or more.

✓ She even loves to take five or more photos.

Error: incomplete noun after number; must specify 'photos'. Also write numbers as words in formal speech; use 'photos' to be clear. Suggestion: 'She even loves to take five or more photos.'

× I love both. Urban views do not give me spacious, but they are good scenery, or they have good scenery all the day, wherever, uh, weather in the morning or at evening.

✓ I love both. Urban views do not give me a sense of spaciousness, but they are good scenery all day, whether it is morning or evening.

Errors: 'do not give me spacious' is incorrect; use 'a sense of spaciousness' or 'space'. 'Good scenery' can stand alone; 'all the day' -> 'all day'. 'Wherever, uh, weather' is wrong; use 'whether it is' for time contrasts. Suggestion: 'Urban views do not give me a sense of spaciousness, but they are good scenery all day, whether it is morning or evening.'

× On the other hand, rural views give me limitless views, but they are completely dark at night, there is nothing to see.

✓ On the other hand, rural areas give me limitless views, but they are completely dark at night and there is nothing to see.

Errors: repetitive 'rural views give me limitless views' is redundant; change to 'rural areas'. Comma splice between clauses; replace with 'and' to join ideas. Suggestion: 'rural areas give me limitless views, but they are completely dark at night and there is nothing to see.'

× Sometimes it's scary.

✓ Sometimes it's scary there at night.

Error: vague reference. Add 'there at night' to clarify what is scary. Tense is fine; improvement is in clarity.

× I like views in my country as they not just the sceneries, but uh, it's my childhood and my memories.

✓ I like views in my country because they are not just scenery; they are my childhood and my memories.

Errors: 'as they not just the sceneries' missing verb and article errors. Use 'because' or 'as' and include 'are'. 'Scenery' is an uncountable noun, not 'sceneries'. Use semicolon or conjunction to link related ideas. Suggestion: 'I like views in my country because they are not just scenery; they are my childhood and my memories.'

× I traveled many countries, I traveled to many countries and they have nice views, but they like these personal feelings.

✓ I traveled to many countries and they have nice views, but they do not have those personal feelings for me.

Errors: missing preposition 'to' after 'traveled'; redundant repetition 'I traveled many countries, I traveled to many countries'. Also 'they like these personal feelings' is incorrect: use 'do not have those personal feelings for me' to convey contrast. Suggestion: 'I traveled to many countries and they have nice views, but they do not have those personal feelings for me.'