自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and organise your answer with a clear topic sentence, one or two supporting details, and a closing statement. Avoid repetition (you say "when I was a child" several times) and correct small grammar mistakes (use past tense consistently). Use linking words like "because" or "so" to show cause and effect, and give a specific detail (e.g. how old you were or when you plan to learn).

示例: No, I didn’t have a bike as a child because my family thought it was unsafe to let me go outside. For example, my grandmother worried about traffic and local crime, so she refused to buy one. However, I hope to learn to ride a bike this year so I can exercise and travel more independently.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific reasons and a brief example. Watch vocabulary accuracy (you said "bags" instead of "bikes") and use linking words (e.g. "because", "for example", "also"). Mention concrete contexts where bikes are common (commuting, exercise) to add specificity.

示例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in the Philippines because they are cheap to run and do not use petrol. For example, many people use motorcycles and bicycles for daily commuting in cities and rural areas. Also, during fuel shortages some commuters switch to bicycles to save money and avoid traffic.

× When I was a child and never had a chance to get the bike since we were not allowed to go outside.

✓ When I was a child I never had a chance to get a bike because we were not allowed to go outside.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and contains a misplaced conjunction 'and' that causes a sentence fragment. Use a single main clause with a reason clause introduced by 'because'. Also use 'a bike' not 'the bike' because no specific bike was mentioned. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× Since during my time when I was a child it was very dangerous going outside.

✓ During my childhood it was very dangerous to go outside.

Redundant temporal phrases ('since during my time when I was a child') create wordiness and awkward structure. Use a concise temporal phrase 'during my childhood' and correct infinitive 'to go outside'. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× So like my grandmother decided not to get me one so.

✓ So my grandmother decided not to get me one.

The sentence uses filler words ('like', duplicate 'so') and has an unnecessary trailing 'so'. Remove fillers and the redundant word to make a clear declarative sentence. Pronoun use is acceptable but the structure is informal. Grammar problem type ID: 12

× But I'm still hopeful to get or to train myself on how to ride a bike by this time.

✓ But I'm still hopeful to learn how to ride a bike by now.

The verb phrase 'train myself on how to ride' is awkward. Use 'learn how to ride' or 'teach myself to ride'. 'By this time' is unnatural; 'by now' or 'soon' fits better. Also use infinitive 'to learn' rather than 'to train myself on how'. Grammar problem type ID: 10

× Yes, I think bikes are popular here in the Philippines because it's efficient, it doesn't require any oil.

✓ Yes, I think bicycles are popular here in the Philippines because they are efficient and don't require any oil.

Use plural agreement and consistent pronouns: 'bicycles' and 'they' for plural. 'It's efficient' is incorrect when referring to 'bikes' plural. Also combine clauses with 'and' for smoothness. Grammar problem type ID: 22

× Especially right now we are facing oil issues due to war from other countries.

✓ Especially right now we are facing oil shortages because of wars in other countries.

Use 'because of' rather than 'due to' for causal explanation in this context; 'war from other countries' is awkward—use 'wars in other countries' or 'conflicts abroad'. Also 'oil issues' is better as 'oil shortages'. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× So yes, I'm pretty sure that bags are popular here.

✓ So yes, I'm pretty sure that bikes are popular here.

The student likely intended 'bikes' but wrote 'bags', which is a lexical error. Ensure subject matches the topic and the verb 'are' agrees with plural 'bikes'. This is a vocabulary/word choice mistake rather than a verb agreement one, but it causes misunderstanding. Grammar problem type ID: 27