自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Improve grammar (verb agreement and tense consistency), use a clear topic sentence, and add one specific supporting detail using linking words. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and avoid redundancy.

示例: Yes, I had a bicycle when I was a child. My brother gave me a red bike for my birthday, and I was very excited because it gave me my first real sense of freedom. For example, I could ride it to my neighbour’s house to play with friends, which made weekends much more fun.

建议: Make the topic sentence more direct and correct grammar (use plural/singular and articles). Add a specific reason or example with a linking word to support your point and use more precise vocabulary (e.g., ‘cost-effective’, ‘environmentally friendly’).

示例: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in my country because they are environmentally friendly and more cost-effective than cars. For instance, many people use bicycles for short commutes in cities since they save money on fuel and parking.

× I had a bicycle when I were a child.

✓ I had a bicycle when I was a child.

The clause refers to a past time; the verb 'to be' must agree with the singular subject 'I' in the past tense, which is 'was' not 'were'. Suggestion: use 'I was' for first person singular in simple past.

× On my birthday my brother gave me a red bicycle and I feel excited because it was my first real freedom and I can ride it all the way to my neighbor house.

✓ On my birthday my brother gave me a red bicycle and I felt excited because it was my first real freedom and I could ride it all the way to my neighbor's house.

The sentence mixes past and present tenses. Events that happened in the past (receiving the bicycle and the excitement) should use past tense verbs ('felt' not 'feel'). The ability at that past time should be expressed as 'could' rather than present 'can'. Additionally, 'neighbor house' needs the possessive form 'neighbor's house'. Suggestion: keep verbs consistent in past tense and use possessive for 'neighbor'.

× I think bikes are quite popular in my country because it's environmental friendly and they just require a small cost compared to car.

✓ I think bikes are quite popular in my country because they're environmentally friendly and they require only a small cost compared to cars.

Several issues: 'it's environmental friendly' is incorrect. Use the adverb 'environmentally' before 'friendly' to modify the adjective. 'They just require a small cost' is awkward; 'require only a small cost' is clearer. Comparison 'compared to car' needs plural 'cars' when speaking generally. Also replace 'it's' with 'they're' to agree with plural 'bikes'. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement with plural subjects, use correct adverbial form 'environmentally', and use plural nouns when comparing in general terms.

× I can ride it all the way to my neighbor house.

✓ I could ride it all the way to my neighbor's house.

Besides tense and possessive issues noted earlier, the noun phrase needs the possessive 'neighbor's' to show ownership; adding the article is not appropriate here. Suggestion: use the possessive form for nouns indicating relationships (neighbor's house) and match tense ('could' for past ability).

× they just require a small cost compared to car.

✓ they require only a small cost compared to cars.

Subject 'they' (bikes) requires plural noun 'cars' in the comparison and 'require' already agrees; 'just' placement is stylistic but 'only' is clearer here. Suggestion: ensure the compared noun matches plurality and place adverbs where they clearly modify the verb phrase.