分享— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Improve grammatical accuracy and clarity: give a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and articles, and one concise specific example. Use linking words if needed.

示例: Yes, my parents taught me to share when I was a child. For example, my mother always encouraged me to lend my bike and pencils to my best friend Jenny, which helped me learn generosity and cooperation.

建议: Make the main idea clear and fix grammar and word choice. Mention one or two specific items and give a brief reason using linking words (because/so).

示例: I often share clothes and shoes with my younger sister because we are the same size, so sharing saves money and reduces clutter in our closets.

建议: Good content but finish sentences and avoid repetition. Provide a clear topic sentence and a specific short example. Use linking words like because or for example.

示例: Cosmetics like foundation and lipstick are not suitable for sharing because they can transfer bacteria; for example, sharing a lipstick may spread cold sores or skin infections.

建议: Complete your answer with correct tense and finish the thought. Be specific about the situation and use up to two supporting details. Avoid sentence fragments.

示例: Recently I shared a pasta dish with my neighbor because she has been very kind to me; we ate together and it was a great way to thank her for helping with my groceries.

建议: Provide a complete, direct topic sentence and a clear reason with one supporting detail. Correct grammar and finish the sentence.

示例: I usually share good news first with my boyfriend because he always supports me and celebrates my achievements, such as when he took me out to dinner after I got a promotion.

建议: Clarify the message and use correct expressions. State the types of news you share (personal events, travel plans, achievements) and give a brief example. Avoid awkward phrases.

示例: I usually share personal news with my friends, like travel plans or celebrations; for instance, I recently told them that I'll be going to Grey Chase soon so we can plan a small get-together.

× Absolutely yes. When I was a kid my mom said sharing a item with my best friend Jenny. So for example I used to sharing with sharing my item such as bike or pencil.

✓ Absolutely. When I was a kid my mom taught me to share items with my best friend Jenny. For example, I used to share items such as my bike or pencil.

Problems: incorrect verb choice and form ('said sharing' should be 'taught me to share'); article and singular/plural ('a item' should be 'an item' or better 'items'); incorrect use of 'used to sharing' (should be 'used to share'). Suggestion: Use 'teach/taught someone to do something' for instruction, use correct article 'an' before vowel sounds, and use 'used to' + base verb for past habits.

× I usually share my fashion item like clothes and shoes with my younger sister cut on because we often same size so it is really useful for my wallet.

✓ I usually share fashion items like clothes and shoes with my younger sister because we are often the same size, so it is really good for my wallet.

Problems: 'fashion item' should be plural 'fashion items'; 'cut on' is incorrect and unnecessary; missing verb 'are' in 'we are often the same size'; awkward phrasing 'useful for my wallet' -> 'good for my wallet'. Suggestion: Ensure noun number matches context, use correct verb 'are' for state, remove extraneous words, and choose natural collocation 'good for my wallet' or 'saves me money'.

× I think cosmetics such as foundation, cushion or lipstick are not suitable for sharing because they can transfer bacteria and it is really unhygienic For for example sharing a lipstick or cream could.

✓ I think cosmetics such as foundation, cushion, or lipstick are not suitable for sharing because they can transfer bacteria and are unhygienic. For example, sharing a lipstick or cream can spread germs.

Problems: punctuation and capitalization errors, repeated 'For', incomplete sentence at end, wrong verb forms 'it is really unhygienic For for example sharing a lipstick or cream could.' Suggestion: Combine ideas into complete sentences, use parallel structure ('are not suitable'), and finish examples with a clear verb ('can spread germs').

× Recently. I tend to share my dish, especially pasta with my neighbor because she is really kind for me so I.

✓ Recently, I have tended to share my food, especially pasta, with my neighbor because she is very kind to me.

Problems: Fragment 'Recently.' should attach to sentence; 'tend to' tense awkward—use 'have tended to' or simple 'tend to'; 'share my dish' is unnatural—use 'share my food'; 'kind for me' should be 'kind to me'; sentence was incomplete. Suggestion: Combine fragments, use correct preposition 'to', and complete the sentence with appropriate verb form.

× It depends on their situation, but I think I usually share my good news first with my boyfriend. That is because my boyfriend always support me and he.

✓ It depends on the situation, but I usually share good news first with my boyfriend because he always supports me.

Problems: 'their' vague when referring to one person—use 'the situation' or 'his/her' as appropriate; unnecessary 'I think' with 'usually'; third person singular verb 'support' should be 'supports'; sentence was incomplete ('and he.'). Suggestion: Use correct subject-verb agreement for third person singular and avoid sentence fragments.

× Recently, to be honest, I don't have a any celebrating situation however. I'm going to Grey Chase soon so I would receive celebrating with my friends.

✓ Recently, to be honest, I haven't had any celebrations. However, I'm going to Grey Chase soon so I will celebrate with my friends.

Problems: 'don't have a any celebrating situation' is ungrammatical—wrong article 'a any', awkward noun 'celebrating situation'; tense mismatch 'I'm going... so I would receive celebrating' should be 'will celebrate'. Suggestion: Use correct noun 'celebrations' or 'celebratory events', avoid double articles, and use future 'will' for planned actions or 'am going to' consistently.