分享— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Make the sentence structure natural and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific supporting detail. Avoid redundancy and correct articles/plural forms (e.g., "people" -> "person/people", "child" -> "children"). Use a linking phrase like "for example" only once. Pronunciation: keep words clear and avoid filler sounds.

示例: Yes. They taught me to share because they believed it was an important social skill. For example, when I was young they always encouraged me to offer my snacks to other children while we were playing, which helped me make friends.

建议: Begin with a direct topic sentence and follow with a concise, specific reason. Correct grammar ("a easy" -> "an easy", "makes us can have" -> "helps us talk more"). Use one linking phrase such as "for example" to introduce a clear example. Keep to two or three sentences maximum.

示例: I usually share my snacks with others because it's an easy way to build friendships. For example, I often give sweets to my classmates during break, and that helps us start conversations and get closer.

建议: Clarify the main idea: say directly that personal or private items/information should not be shared. Use correct vocabulary ("private things" or "personal information") and form a coherent example. Avoid unclear phrases and filler words. Use linking words like "for instance" and provide one concrete example (e.g., passwords, personal messages).

示例: I think personal or private things are not suitable for sharing. For instance, you should never share your passwords, bank details or private messages because they are confidential and could cause problems if others see them.

建议: Answer directly and succinctly, then give a specific recent example. Use natural phrasing ("I'm good at" not "a kind of good at"). Avoid filler words like "umm" and ensure verb forms are correct ("I shared my answers in class today").

示例: Yes. I often share my knowledge of math and physics with classmates because I enjoy helping. For example, today I explained a problem's solution to two classmates after our lesson.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence and correct phrasing ("they are the closest people to me"). Give one concise, specific example and correct word choice ("marks" or "grades", "reward" instead of "prize"). Avoid long, repetitive explanations.

示例: I would share good news with my parents first because they are the closest people to me and very supportive. For example, when I get a high grade at school I tell them right away, and they congratulate me and sometimes give me a small reward.

建议: Provide a clear topic sentence naming the types of news, then one concrete example that is grammatically correct and coherent. Correct awkward expressions ("by work" -> "on my way to work", "listen to them" unclear). Use linking words like "for example" and explain why you share such news.

示例: I usually share good or interesting news with my friends, such as photos or experiences. For example, on my way to work I sometimes see a beautiful sunrise and take a photo; I send it to my friends because it brightens our day and starts a pleasant conversation.

× Yes, they did, because they think it's an essential skill for every people, especially for child.

✓ Yes, they did, because they think it's an essential skill for everyone, especially for children.

The phrase 'every people' is incorrect; use 'everyone' or 'every person' to refer to all people. 'Child' should be plural 'children' when speaking generally. Use appropriate quantifiers and plural nouns for general statements.

× For example, they always ask me to share my delicious snack with other children when we play together.

✓ For example, they always ask me to share my delicious snacks with other children when we play together.

When referring to snacks in general or multiple occasions, 'snack' should be plural 'snacks'. This is a count noun and needs the correct number to match the context.

× I prefer sharing my snack with others because I think it's a easy way to be closer with others.

✓ I prefer sharing my snacks with others because I think it's an easy way to become closer to them.

Use 'snacks' plural for general habit. 'a easy' is incorrect article + adjective; use 'an easy' because 'easy' begins with a vowel sound. 'Be closer with others' is unidiomatic; use 'become closer to them' for natural expression.

× For example, I usually share my snacks with my classmates, which makes us can have more talk.

✓ For example, I usually share my snacks with my classmates, which allows us to have more conversations.

Relative clause 'which makes us can have' is ungrammatical. Use 'allows us to' or 'helps us to' + base verb. 'Have more talk' is awkward; use 'have more conversations' or 'talk more'.

× I think the privacy things can be sharing.

✓ I think private things should not be shared.

'Privacy things' is incorrect; use 'private things' or 'personal matters'. Also 'can be sharing' is incorrect verb form; use passive 'should not be shared' to express unsuitability for sharing.

× For example you couldn't share with others your and where were brought.

✓ For example, you shouldn't share with others your personal information and where you were born.

Sentence is fragmented and missing nouns. 'Your and where were brought' is ungrammatical. Clarify 'personal information' and correct verb 'were brought' to 'were born' if meaning birthplace, and use 'shouldn't' to indicate advice.

× Tish that's so weird.

✓ Tish, that's so weird.

Probably a name 'Tish' is meant; add comma after a vocative. Also ensure correct spelling 'Tish' rather than 'Tish that' run-on. If 'Tish' is not intended, remove it. Maintain punctuation for clarity.

× Yes I do because I'm a kind of good at math and physics, so I usually share my questions, solutions with others.

✓ Yes, I do because I'm good at math and physics, so I usually share my questions and solutions with others.

'I'm a kind of good at' is incorrect—omit 'a kind of' and say 'I'm good at'. Also list items with 'and' and include commas appropriately.

× For example, I shared my answer umm in class with my classmates today.

✓ For example, I shared my answers in class with my classmates today.

Use plural 'answers' if referring to multiple problems or keep singular if one; 'umm' should be removed in written form. 'Today' with past simple 'shared' is acceptable; ensure noun number matches context.

× My parents definitely because they are my the most close person in the whole world.

✓ My parents, definitely, because they are the closest people in the whole world to me.

'The most close' should be 'the closest'. 'Person' must be plural 'people' when referring to parents. Reorder 'to me' for natural expression.

× For example, when I get home mark in my study, I always share this good news with them and they always give me the prize and be proud of me.

✓ For example, when I get good marks in my studies, I always share the good news with them and they always praise me and are proud of me.

'Get home mark in my study' is incorrect. Use 'get good marks in my studies' to indicate grades. 'Give me the prize' is awkward—use 'praise me' or 'reward me'. Change 'be proud of me' to 'are proud of me' for correct verb form.

× I always share with them some good news or interesting news.

✓ I always share good or interesting news with them.

Word order is awkward. Place object 'good or interesting news' before 'with them' for natural English.

× For example, when I go to train station by work, I always watch some beautiful sunrise.

✓ For example, when I go to the train station on my way to work, I always watch a beautiful sunrise.

Insert articles: 'the train station'. Use preposition 'on my way to work' instead of 'by work'. Use 'a beautiful sunrise' singular when referring to a single occurrence.

× I will take photo and listen to them which make us a few better today.

✓ I will take photos and listen to them, which makes our day a little better.

Use plural 'photos' for typical activity. 'Listen to them' is unclear—if referring to friends, keep; if to music, specify. 'Which make us a few better today' is ungrammatical; use 'which makes our day a little better.'