分享— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more natural and grammatically correct: start with a clear topic sentence, correct tense and articles, avoid fillers, and add a brief specific example. Keep it under 5 sentences.

示例: Yes. My parents taught me to share from a young age. For example, I often had to share toys and snacks with my younger sister, which helped me understand kindness and cooperation.

建议: Combine sentences for fluidity, fix grammar (articles, plural/singular), add a linking word to explain why, and give a concise specific detail.

示例: I usually like to share books, especially textbooks. When I was a student, I often lent my textbooks to classmates because it helped us study together and save money.

建议: Begin with a direct topic sentence, correct grammar and word choice, and give a brief specific reason or example. Use a linking word to connect idea and consequence.

示例: I think personal items are not suitable for sharing because they can be easily damaged or lost. For example, I would not lend my headphones or underwear to others for hygiene and safety reasons.

建议: Avoid fillers, use correct past tense and pronouns, and make the sequence of events clear. Keep it short and add a reason why you lent it.

示例: Yes. A few days ago I lent my laptop to my sister because she needed it for an online class, and she returned it to me yesterday.

建议: Use a direct topic sentence, correct articles and word order, avoid exaggeration like 'ever', and add a brief reason with a linking phrase.

示例: I would share good news with my younger sister because we are very close. For instance, she is the first person I call when something important happens because she always supports me.

建议: Avoid saying 'gossips' as it sounds negative; use 'personal news' or 'personal matters'. Correct verb forms and provide a concise, appropriate example showing discretion.

示例: I usually share personal matters with close friends, such as relationship problems. For example, when I discovered my ex-boyfriend cheated on me, I told my closest friends because I needed their support.

× Yes, my parents taught me to share with others when I was child.

✓ Yes, my parents taught me to share with others when I was a child.

The sentence is missing the article 'a' before the noun 'child'. Use 'a child' to indicate one of the category; correct the article to make the noun phrase grammatical.

× Uh, usually I had to share my stuff with my younger sister and I learned kindness from these things.

✓ Uh, usually I had to share my stuff with my younger sister, and I learned kindness from those experiences.

The phrase 'these things' is awkward and mismatches number and distance; 'those experiences' is more natural to refer back to past occasions. Also a comma before 'and' improves sentence flow.

× I prefer to share my books, especially textbooks.

✓ I prefer to share my books, especially my textbooks.

Adding the possessive 'my' before 'textbooks' clarifies ownership and keeps the sentence consistent; this is a noun phrase specificity issue related to present-tense preference statements.

× When I was student, I often shared my textbooks with my friends classmates.

✓ When I was a student, I often shared my textbooks with my classmates and friends.

Missing article 'a' before 'student' and awkward word order 'friends classmates'. Use 'a student' and place 'classmates and friends' in natural order.

× I don't think shared personal things with others is appropriate because personal stuff can be damaged when you lend others.

✓ I don't think sharing personal things with others is appropriate because personal stuff can be damaged when you lend it to others.

Use the gerund 'sharing' after 'think' to form the noun phrase. Also 'lend others' is ungrammatical; correct structure is 'lend it to others' where 'it' refers to the personal item.

× Yes, uh, a few days ago I lend my laptop for my sister.

✓ Yes, uh, a few days ago I lent my laptop to my sister.

The past tense of 'lend' is 'lent', not 'lend'. Also use the preposition 'to' (lend something to someone) rather than 'for'. This fixes tense and preposition errors.

× She used this and gave me back yesterday.

✓ She used it and gave it back to me yesterday.

Use past tense 'used' is fine, but replace 'this' with 'it' for natural reference, and use 'gave it back to me' for correct object order. Include 'yesterday' at end — sentence already past-tense.

× I would like to share a good news with my younger sister because I think we are very closest friend ever so I'd like to share a news.

✓ I would like to share good news with my younger sister because I think we are very close friends, so I'd like to tell her the news.

'News' is uncountable so omit the article 'a'. 'Closest' needs 'very close' and 'friend' should be plural 'friends' when referring to both of you. 'Share a news' is ungrammatical; use 'tell her the news' or 'share the news'.

× I often share gossips with my friends, for example, my ex-boyfriend cheated me and I share this news with my closest friends.

✓ I often share gossip with my friends; for example, my ex-boyfriend cheated on me, and I shared this with my closest friends.

'Gossip' is uncountable, so use singular form without 's'. The verb 'cheat' requires the preposition 'on' when someone is unfaithful: 'cheated on me'. Maintain consistent past tense for the example: 'shared' rather than 'share'.