建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and reduce hesitation. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific detail. Avoid filler words (umm, uh) and use plural/agreement correctly (office complexes).

範例: Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home. For example, there are several high-rise shopping malls and office complexes within a ten-minute walk.

建議: Give a direct topic sentence and then offer a specific example. Replace vague words (funny) with precise descriptions and remove hesitations. Use linking words to connect ideas (because, such as).

範例: I don't take photos of buildings very often, but I do when a building is unusual. For example, I photograph structures with striking exterior patterns or traditional wooden façades because they look interesting in photos.

建議: Respond directly and name the building clearly. Remove fillers, and provide one or two specific reasons why you want to visit, using linking words (because, and). Avoid unclear phrases like 'I can see it clearly.'

範例: Yes, I would like to visit the Beijing National Stadium, built for the 2008 Olympics, because its lattice-like steel structure looks very unique and I want to see the design up close.

建議: Give a clear, concise answer and correct numerical expressions. Avoid self-corrections mid-sentence. Provide specific reasons and use linking words. For example, state the height threshold once and explain safety or convenience concerns.

範例: It depends on the height: I wouldn't live in a building over 40 storeys because I think very tall buildings can feel unsafe, but I would consider living in a building under 100 metres because it feels more manageable and easier to evacuate in an emergency.

× Actually, there are a lot.

✓ Actually, there are a lot of them.

The phrase 'a lot' often needs a noun or pronoun after it when used alone in response. Saying 'there are a lot' is incomplete; add 'of them' to specify what exists. Suggestion: use 'there are a lot of tall buildings' or 'there are a lot of them.'

× various high rise buildings around my accommodation, including, umm, shopping malls and uh, office complex.

✓ various high-rise buildings around my accommodation, including shopping malls and an office complex.

'High-rise' is a compound adjective that should be hyphenated before a noun. Also 'office complex' is singular and requires an article 'an'. Remove filler words and extra commas for clarity. Suggestion: 'various high-rise buildings... including shopping malls and an office complex.'

× Yes, but not really often.

✓ Yes, but not very often.

The collocation 'not very often' is more natural than 'not really often.' Use 'very' to modify 'often' for frequency. Suggestion: 'I don't take photos very often.'

× I usually take photos when I see unique buildings, like they have very funny or special exterior walls or maybe some traditional buildings.

✓ I usually take photos when I see unique buildings, such as those with unusual or distinctive exterior walls, or perhaps traditional buildings.

Using 'like they have...' is awkward and uses 'they' without a clear antecedent structure. Replace with 'such as those with...' and use precise adjectives: 'unusual' or 'distinctive' instead of 'funny.'

× Oh yes, umm, probably the one that, uh, the, the stadium in Beijing built for the Olympic Games 2008.

✓ Oh yes, probably the stadium in Beijing that was built for the 2008 Olympic Games.

The original has redundant fillers and incorrect word order. Use a relative clause 'that was built' and place the year before 'Olympic Games' ('the 2008 Olympic Games'). Remove repeated articles and fillers. Suggestion: 'the stadium in Beijing that was built for the 2008 Olympic Games.'

× I think the structure of the stadium is really unique and then I can see it clearly.

✓ I think the stadium's structure is really unique, and I would like to see it in person.

'Then I can see it clearly' is unclear and mixes tenses/meaning. If expressing desire to visit, use 'I would like to see it in person.' Also use possessive 'stadium's structure' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: 'I think the stadium's structure is really unique, and I would like to see it in person.'

× It depends on how tall it is.

✓ It depends on how tall it is.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no correction needed. Keep as is.

× If it is more than 40 stories that I would say no because that's unsafe for residents living in such a tall building.

✓ If it is more than 40 stories, I would say no, because that's unsafe for residents living in such a tall building.

Missing comma and awkward clause placement. Add a comma after the conditional clause and remove 'that' which is unnecessary. Suggestion: 'If it is more than 40 stories, I would say no, because that's unsafe for residents.'

× But if it's less than 1000, sorry, 100 metres, I would say yes.

✓ But if it's less than 100 metres, I would say yes.

Saying 'less than 1000, sorry, 100 metres' is confusing and inconsistent in units. Use the correct number and unit: '100 metres.' Also, choose either 'metres' or 'stories' consistently. Suggestion: 'If it's less than 100 metres, I would say yes.'