旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Reduce hesitations and redundancy; start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Use singular form “scenery” and avoid repeating words like “views” and “beautiful.”

範例: Yes, I always look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. For example, in my hometown I enjoy watching rice terraces and old villages because they show local life; additionally, I like observing the shapes of the clouds, which often change dramatically during sunset.

建議: Be concise and accurate. ‘Photogenic’ refers to people or things that look good in photos—better to say ‘I don’t often take photos.’ Remove repetition and link reasons clearly (e.g., to share memories).

範例: I don't often take photos from the car, but if a scene is striking I will photograph it to share with my family and to remember the place later.

建議: Clarify vocabulary and reduce hesitations. Say simply if you prefer the sea and explain the reason with one clear sentence. Use correct terms: ‘hydrophobic’ is unusual for fear of water—say ‘I’m afraid of deep water.’ Avoid repeating similar words.

範例: I prefer the sea because I love its appearance and sounds, but I am afraid of deep water, so I enjoy watching the ocean from the shore rather than swimming.

× I like to, uh, see different kinds of views and sceneries, especially in my hometown.

✓ I like to, uh, see different kinds of views and scenery, especially in my hometown.

'Scenery' is an uncountable noun and does not take a plural form in this sense; use 'scenery' instead of 'sceneries'. 'Different kinds of views and scenery' correctly pairs a countable noun ('views') with an uncountable noun ('scenery'). Suggestion: Use uncountable nouns without plural -s and pair them correctly with countable nouns.

× I also like to look at the shapes of the cloud.

✓ I also like to look at the shapes of the clouds.

'Cloud' should be plural ('clouds') because 'shapes of the' implies multiple clouds; using singular creates a mismatch between 'shapes' (plural) and 'cloud' (singular). Suggestion: Ensure noun number agrees with surrounding words (plural with plural markers like 'shapes').

× I'm not a very photogenic person.

✓ I'm not someone who takes good photos.

While 'photogenic' normally describes a person who looks good in photos, the student likely means they are not good at taking photos. The original sentence is grammatical but may convey the wrong meaning. To match the intended meaning 'not good at taking photos', rephrase to 'not someone who takes good photos.' Suggestion: Choose wording that matches intended meaning: 'photogenic' describes appearance in photos, not photography skill.

× However, if the scenery or the view is really beautiful, uh, then I surely take a picture so that I can show it to my friends or my family and then we can, uh, go there again and enjoy the view again.

✓ However, if the scenery or the view is really beautiful, I will surely take a picture so that I can show it to my friends or family, and then we can go there again and enjoy the view.

Several issues: tense and redundancy. Use 'will surely take' for a likely future action triggered by a condition (modal/future tense). Remove duplicate 'again' and unnecessary fillers. Also 'my friends or my family' is repetitive; 'friends or family' is concise. Suggestion: Use appropriate future form for conditional actions and avoid repetition and filler words.

× I would say I prefer sea, however I am umm, hydrophobic.

✓ I would say I prefer the sea; however, I am, umm, hydrophobic.

When referring to the sea as a general natural feature, English often uses the definite article 'the sea'. Omitting 'the' is nonstandard. Also add punctuation to separate clauses. Suggestion: Use 'the sea' for general reference to the ocean.

× I can't go near a big water bodies like sea ocean like that, but I really love seeing sea.

✓ I can't go near big bodies of water like the sea or the ocean like that, but I really love seeing the sea.

Multiple errors: 'a big water bodies' mixes singular article 'a' with plural 'bodies' and uses awkward word order. Correct phrasing is 'big bodies of water'. Also use 'the sea' and 'the ocean' with articles when speaking generally. Repeat 'the sea' at the end for consistency. Suggestion: Use correct noun phrase order 'bodies of water', ensure article-number agreement (singular/plural), and use 'the' with 'sea' and 'ocean' when speaking generally.