旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Clarify and correct vocabulary and grammar, keep it concise, and provide one clear reason with a linking word. Avoid invented words (‘Snapdragon’) and vague phrases. Use a topic sentence then one or two supporting details, linked logically.

範例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I enjoy watching the changing landscapes. For example, seeing trees and fields relaxes me and helps me feel refreshed during a long journey.

建議: Use correct tense and clearer phrasing. Start with a direct answer, give a reason, and add a brief example. Avoid awkward nouns like ‘scenarios’ and unclear phrases such as ‘nature thing.’

範例: Yes, I often take photos from the car window because photography is my hobby and it helps me preserve interesting views. For instance, I recently photographed a misty valley from the highway and later printed the picture.

建議: Give a clear preference or explain why both appeal, and use correct vocabulary (e.g. ‘beach’ instead of ‘page’). Keep sentences coherent and use linking words to contrast moods. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

範例: I like both the mountains and the sea, but it depends on my mood. When I want exercise and fresh air I choose the mountains, whereas if I want to relax and watch the sunset I prefer the beach.

× Snapdragon by bus or car.

✓ I travel by bus or car.

The original is a fragment and uses 'Snapdragon' incorrectly; it doesn't form a complete sentence. Replace with a clear subject and verb to match the question: 'I travel by bus or car.' This fixes sentence structure and makes the meaning clear.

× I look at the window to have a look at the scenery view because I think it's the best way to feel the nature and to heal your and to increase your productivity.

✓ I look out the window to see the scenery because I think it's the best way to feel close to nature, relax, and increase my productivity.

Errors include incorrect prepositions ('at the window' vs 'out the window'), redundancy ('look at the window to have a look'), incorrect noun phrase ('scenery view'), incorrect pronoun/object ('heal your'), and awkward phrasing. Use present simple for habitual action, correct preposition 'out', concise noun 'scenery', correct reflexive/object 'my' or 'myself' if appropriate, and parallel verbs 'relax, and increase my productivity.'

× So it's my favorite thing to do while traveling.

✓ So it's my favorite thing to do while traveling.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. Left here for completeness. It correctly uses 'it' as a dummy subject and present participle 'traveling.'

× I love to use outside.

✓ I love being outside.

Original 'use outside' is incorrect because 'outside' is an adverb/place noun and cannot be 'used.' Use the gerund 'being outside' or 'spending time outside' to express preference correctly.

× Photography is my hobby, so absolutely I took photos of scenarios because it's the best way to capture the nature thing in your memory forever.

✓ Photography is my hobby, so I always take photos of the scenery because it's the best way to capture nature in your memory.

Tense error: the question asks about habitual action, so use present simple 'take' instead of past 'took.' 'Scenarios' is wrong word; use 'scenery.' Remove 'thing' which is informal and vague. Use 'capture nature in your memory' for natural phrasing and keep consistent pronoun 'your' if addressing listener; better to use 'your' or 'my' consistently—here 'your' is acceptable because the student speaks generally.

× So while outside the car or window.

✓ So I take photos while I'm in the car or out the window.

Original is a fragment and unclear. Make a full clause: 'So I take photos while I'm in the car or out the window' (better: 'through the car window'). Use 'through the car window' or 'from the car window' for clarity and correct preposition.

× Redwood mountains and sea are equally preferable for me, but it entirely depends on my mood because sometimes I really want to go through mountains and other time I just want to sit on a page.

✓ The mountains and the sea are equally preferable for me, but it entirely depends on my mood because sometimes I really want to go to the mountains and other times I just want to sit on the beach.

Use definite articles 'the' for specific places in this context. 'Redwood' seems misplaced — likely meant 'the mountains' or a specific range. Use 'go to the mountains' (not 'go through mountains') and plural 'other times.' 'Sit on a page' is incorrect; likely 'sit on the beach.' Correct quantifiers and noun choices improve clarity.

× Sure, and just to enjoy the sunset over there.

✓ Sure, I just want to enjoy the sunset there.

The original is a fragment and awkward. Place adverb 'just' before the verb 'want' for natural word order and remove 'over' which is unnecessary. Make a complete clause.

× So both are equally preferable.

✓ So I like both equally.

'Both are equally preferable' is grammatical but stiff; 'I like both equally' is more natural in spoken English and fits the speaker's perspective. This change improves fluency while retaining meaning.