视图— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid fillers and repetitions. For example, correct verb forms and remove repeated words.

範例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. For example, when I walk down the street I often photograph interesting buildings and colorful street scenes because they remind me of daily life; this hobby helps me notice small details I would otherwise miss.

建議: Answer directly with a clear preference, then support it with specific reasons and linking words. Fix unclear phrases and grammar. Limit to up to five sentences and avoid trailing off.

範例: I prefer rural views because they offer peaceful scenery and wider skies. For instance, I can photograph fields, flowers, and open horizons, which create a calmer, more natural atmosphere compared to crowded urban streets.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then add one or two specific supporting reasons with linking words. Avoid repeating phrases and unfinished sentences; finish your thought with a concrete example.

範例: I prefer views in my own country because I feel familiar and comfortable there. For example, when I visit my hometown I enjoy photographing the local markets and traditional architecture, which evoke personal memories and make the pictures more meaningful.

× Oh yes, I quite enjoy taking beautiful views as I walking on the street.

✓ Oh yes, I quite enjoy taking pictures of beautiful views while I am walking on the street.

The sentence uses 'as I walking' which is incorrect. After 'I' we need a finite verb: use the present continuous 'am walking' or the gerund 'walking' with 'while'. Also 'taking beautiful views' is unnatural; collocate as 'taking pictures of beautiful views'. Suggest using 'while I am walking' to express simultaneous actions.

× Yep. And the it's it's kind of my hobby to capture beautiful views and then I can I can every time I wanna.

✓ Yes, it's kind of my hobby to capture beautiful views, and I can do it whenever I want.

This sentence has repetitions ('it's it's', 'I can I can') and an incomplete clause 'every time I wanna'. Replace colloquial 'wanna' with 'want' and add the verb 'do it' to complete the idea. Use 'whenever' instead of 'every time' for natural phrasing.

× Umm, I, I would say there are two different styles and you cannot say we try better.

✓ I would say there are two different styles, and you cannot say one is better than the other.

The original 'you cannot say we try better' is unclear and ungrammatical. Use the conjunction 'and' correctly with a clause: 'you cannot say one is better than the other' to compare styles. Also remove redundant 'I, I'.

× And then for nature views, they have just umm, you can capture beautiful flowers, you can see umm, wider skies and for.

✓ As for natural views, you can capture beautiful flowers and see wider skies.

The sentence is incomplete and repetitive ('and for.' trailing). 'Nature views' is better as 'natural views'. Remove filler words and coordinate items properly: 'capture... and see...' to complete the list.

× Umm, I would say I prefer views in my own country since I was born and raised in that area.

✓ I would say I prefer views in my own country because I was born and raised there.

Using 'since' is acceptable for time, but 'since I was born and raised in that area' is wordy. 'Because' clarifies reason. Also use 'there' to avoid repeating 'that area' and keep natural spoken English.

× That's my hometown and I just feel familiar and comfortable in my own hometown especially.

✓ That's my hometown, and I just feel familiar and comfortable there, especially.

Repeating 'my hometown' is redundant. Use the pronoun 'there' to refer back. Place 'especially' at the end for natural emphasis.

× And yes, and then I can really.

✓ And yes, I can really enjoy photographing those views.

The original is an unfinished sentence ('I can really.'). Complete the thought by adding a verb phrase such as 'enjoy photographing those views' to make it a full sentence and match context.