音乐— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence (e.g. “It depends on my mood”), avoid filler words (“uh”, “like”), correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, articles), and use specific vocabulary (e.g. “melancholic” instead of “sad”, or “soothing melodies”). Keep answers to no more than 4–5 sentences and use one linking phrase when adding detail.

範例: It depends on my mood. When I'm feeling low or stressed, I prefer melancholic or soothing music because the calm melodies help me relax. On the other hand, when I'm in a good mood and want to move, I listen to upbeat pop or jazz so I can dance and boost my energy.

建議: Answer directly and give a clear reason with specific examples. Avoid vague phrases and grammatical errors (e.g. “a music” → “music”, verb forms, plural agreement). Use linking words like “because” or “for example” to connect your reason and an example. Keep to 3–4 sentences maximum.

範例: Yes, definitely. Happy music usually energizes me because upbeat rhythms and strong beats lift my mood. For example, when I play pop songs with a fast tempo, I feel more cheerful and motivated to exercise or clean my room.

× It's totally depend on a situation.

✓ It totally depends on the situation.

The verb 'depend' must agree with the singular subject 'It' in present simple, so use the third-person singular form 'depends'. Also use the definite article 'the' before 'situation' to refer to a specific context.

× Like whenever I'm feeling like Daisy or weak, I always, uh, prefer to listen to music, uh, that have a melody in it and uh, make me uh, relief from stress.

✓ For example, whenever I'm feeling sad or weak, I always prefer to listen to music that has a melody and helps relieve my stress.

Several issues: 'Like' as a filler should be replaced by 'For example' for clarity; 'feeling like Daisy' is incorrect—likely 'sad'; subject-verb agreement requires 'music that has a melody' (singular 'music' takes 'has'); 'make me relief from stress' is ungrammatical—use 'helps relieve my stress' or 'helps me relieve stress'; remove filler 'uh' and simplify structure.

× Moreover, when I'm happy and uh, want to dance so that time I go toward the pop or jazz.

✓ Moreover, when I'm happy and want to dance, I listen to pop or jazz.

Unnecessary filler 'uh' and awkward phrase 'so that time I go toward' should be simplified to 'I listen to'. Also do not use 'the' before music genres like 'pop' or 'jazz' in this context.

× Yes, I think so. This thing can work for me because I have a keen interest in a music.

✓ Yes, I think so. This works for me because I have a keen interest in music.

'This thing can work for me' is wordy; use 'This works for me'. 'A music' is incorrect—'music' is an uncountable noun, so omit the article 'a'.

× So if we listen the pop music, the beat that are coming from that, that songs and the rhythm too, I can make me happy and also can help me to relieve from stress.

✓ So if we listen to pop music, the beats and rhythm of the songs can make me happy and help me relieve stress.

Multiple errors: use 'listen to' not 'listen'; do not use 'the' before 'pop music' here; 'beat that are coming' should be 'beats' (plural) and 'of the songs' or 'of the songs'—simplified to 'beats and rhythm of the songs'; 'I can make me happy' is incorrect reflexive wording—use 'can make me happy'; 'help me to relieve from stress' should be 'help me relieve stress' (no 'from'). Subject-verb agreement and preposition usage were corrected.