自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, correct vocabulary (bike, not back/bag), and use one or two supporting details linked with connectors. Avoid repetition and filler words. Also correct grammar (past tense consistency) and include a brief vivid detail (e.g. age or where you rode).

範例: Yes, I did. I had a small red bike that my father built for me when I was seven. It was slightly too small, but he taught me to ride it in our courtyard, and I practiced every evening until I felt confident.

建議: Use correct words (bike not bag) and give specific reasons or examples. Provide a clear opinion sentence, then support it with two specific reasons or an example, using linking words (because, for example, also). Avoid repetition and keep it within five sentences.

範例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because many people use them for commuting and exercise. For example, you can see cyclists on city bike lanes every morning, and some communities organize weekly group rides, which makes cycling both practical and social.

× Yes I did have a back when I was a child it it was a red 1 and it's smaller.

✓ Yes, I did have a bike when I was a child. It was red and smaller.

The original sentence misused words and mixed tenses. 'Did have' is acceptable but redundant with simple past; use 'I had' or keep 'I did have' with correct noun 'bike.' 'It it was' repeats words; remove duplication. 'It's smaller' uses present tense; the context is past, so use past tense 'was smaller.' Also '1' appears to be a transcription error and should be 'one' or omitted. Suggestion: use consistent past tense for past events and correct noun choice.

× UMM compared my bikes right now and the bike is built by my father and he taught me how to ride the bag.

✓ Um, compared to my bike now, that bike was built by my father and he taught me how to ride it.

Problems: 'compared my bikes right now' is ungrammatical and mixes present time with past reference; use 'compared to my bike now' to indicate comparison. 'The bike is built by my father' uses passive present but the action pertains to past; use past passive or simple past 'was built.' 'He taught me how to ride the bag' misuses 'bag' instead of pronoun 'it.' Use 'it' to refer to the bike. Suggestion: keep time references consistent and use correct pronouns.

× Do you think bikes are popular in your country? Student: Yes, bags are popular in my country and bags even are a kind of sports in my country.

✓ Yes, bikes are popular in my country, and biking is even considered a sport there.

Original uses 'bags' instead of 'bikes' (likely transcription error) and repeats 'in my country.' 'Bags even are a kind of sports' is ungrammatical: 'biking' (the activity) is singular and countable as 'a sport' or uncountable as 'a sport'—use 'considered a sport.' Also use consistent vocabulary: 'biking' or 'cycling.' Suggestion: use the activity noun 'biking' and correct article and verb agreement.

× I I got a bike too and usually I ride my bike to relax myself.

✓ I also got a bike, and I usually ride it to relax.

Redundant 'I I' should be a single 'I.' 'Got a bike too' is acceptable but 'also' is more natural. 'Ride my bike to relax myself' is wordy; native speakers say 'ride it to relax.' 'Relax myself' is unnatural in this context. Suggestion: remove redundancy, use natural adverbs, and replace reflexive with simple object pronoun.