自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 改善点：文法と語彙の自然さを高め、不要な繰り返しを避けてください。具体的には、時制の一致（過去形）を守り、主語・動詞の一致や適切な動詞（drive → ride）を使うこと。回答はトピック文で始め、2〜3文で具体的な詳細（誰が、いつ、どこで、どのように）を述べてください。接続詞（for example, so, because, and）を適切に使って文のつながりを明確にしましょう。例：最初の文で「Yes, I had a bike.」と答え、その後に「My parents gave it to me when I was X years old.」など具体的な情報を付け加える。

範例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My parents gave it to me as my first bike, and I was very happy. I rode it almost every day around my neighborhood, and sometimes my friends and I went on longer rides to nearby towns for fun.

建議: 改善点：意味不明な語句（"in a software"）を避け、はっきりとした理由と具体例を示してください。まず直接に意見を述べ（topic sentence）、次に2つ程度の具体的な理由を接続詞（because, for example, however）で示し、最後に短い結論でまとめてください。語彙は文脈に合った単語（popular, common, rural, urban, commute）を使い、簡潔に述べるとよいです。

範例: I don't think bicycles are very popular in my country. In rural areas people usually use cars because distances are long, and in cities many people prefer trains or buses for commuting. For these reasons, bicycles are less common as a main form of transport.

× Yes, I want my bicycle.

✓ Yes, I wanted a bicycle.

The student uses present tense 'want' when referring to a past situation ('when you were a child'). Use past tense 'wanted' to match the time frame. Suggestion: match verb tense to the time expression (e.g., 'when I was a child I wanted a bicycle').

× When I was a child and my first bike was present from my parents and I was so happy.

✓ When I was a child my first bike was a present from my parents, and I was very happy.

The phrase 'was present from my parents' is incorrect. Use 'was a present from my parents' to indicate the bike was a gift. Also separate clauses with a comma and use 'very happy' rather than 'so happy' for formality. Suggestion: use 'a present from' for gifts and ensure clause connection with commas or conjunctions.

× And yeah, riding a bicycle is so fun that I drove in it almost every day.

✓ And yeah, riding a bicycle was so fun that I rode it almost every day.

Several issues: 'is' present tense conflicts with past context; 'drove in it' is incorrect for bicycles—use 'rode it'. Use past tense 'was' and past verb 'rode'. Suggestion: use 'ride/rode' for bicycles and keep tense consistent with past time markers.

× Also, I enjoyed riding bicycle with my friends to go far away from my country and the city.

✓ Also, I enjoyed riding a bicycle with my friends to go far away from my town and the city.

Missing article before 'bicycle' — use 'a bicycle'. 'Country' and 'city' pairing is awkward with 'far away from my country and the city'; likely intended 'town' or 'village' near the city. Suggestion: use articles ('a/the') appropriately and choose clearer place words; keep prepositions correct ('far away from').

× I think bikes are in a software in my country because in the countryside people need to drive car to move far away from their home and in the city people use trains to commute and go.

✓ I think bikes are not very common in my country because in the countryside people need to drive cars to travel long distances from their homes, and in the city people use trains to commute.

'Are in a software' is meaningless; replace with 'are not very common'. 'Drive car' should be plural 'drive cars'. 'To move far away from their home' is awkward — use 'to travel long distances from their homes'. Remove redundant 'and go'. Ensure tense and plurality are correct. Suggestion: use natural collocations like 'not very common', 'drive cars', and 'travel long distances'.

× So that's why I think bicycles are not so popular in my country.

✓ So that's why I think bicycles are not very popular in my country.

'Not so popular' is acceptable but less natural; change to 'not very popular' for clarity. No major grammatical plural issue here, but slight wording improvement. Suggestion: prefer 'not very popular' in formal responses.