分享— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Keep your answer concise and reduce hesitation sounds. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific examples and a short reason. Use linking words like “for example” and “because” to make your point coherent.

範例: Yes. My parents taught me to share from a young age. For example, they encouraged me to lend pencils and erasers to classmates because sharing builds trust and people may help me in return.

建議: Answer directly and organise sentences. Say the main item first, then explain briefly with a specific example and reason. Avoid unclear phrases like “certain type of note making of my”.

範例: I usually share clothes and study notes. For instance, I give old clothes to my cousins when they need them, and I share my class notes with friends so they can revise before exams.

建議: Be more concise and avoid repetition. State the main idea, give a clear reason and one short example. Use linking words like “because” and “for example”.

範例: I think valuable items such as gold or expensive jewellery should not be shared because they can be easily lost or cause misunderstandings. For example, lending a gold ring could lead to arguments if it goes missing.

建議: Use past tense correctly and keep sentences short. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give a brief specific detail about when and why you shared.

範例: Yes. Two weeks ago I shared my study notes with a friend who needed them to prepare for exams. I gave them willingly because she wanted to improve her grades.

建議: Be direct and avoid fillers. State the person clearly, then give one or two specific reasons. Use linking words like “because” and keep it to two sentences.

範例: My mother. I always tell her important news first because she supports me emotionally and gives helpful advice about personal and social matters.

建議: Organise your answer: give the main categories of news, then a brief reason or example. Avoid repeated words and practise concise phrasing.

範例: I usually share academic news and my career plans with friends. For example, I discuss my study progress and future goals to get their feedback and boost my confidence.

× Certainly, when I was a child at that time, my parents usually told me to share basic necessity items to individuals or friends like pencils, eraser, because it shows a trustworthy relationship and it also boosted, uh, relationship in a positive way by helping people, they might, uh, help, uh, uh, me in future.

✓ Certainly, when I was a child, my parents usually told me to share basic necessities with others, like pencils and an eraser, because it shows trustworthiness and also boosts relationships in a positive way; by helping people, they might help me in the future.

The sentence mixes past and present aspects and has incorrect noun forms and prepositions. Use 'when I was a child' without 'at that time' (redundant). 'Basic necessity items' should be 'basic necessities' (noun form). Use the preposition 'with' not 'to' for sharing. 'Eraser' needs an article: 'an eraser'. 'Trustworthy relationship' should be 'trustworthiness' or 'a trusting relationship'; here 'trustworthiness' fits. 'Boosted' should be present-tense 'boosts' to match the habitual action 'my parents usually told me' describing a general effect; alternatively keep past consistently. Also add 'in the future' and remove filler sounds. Suggestion: keep consistent tense, pluralize nouns properly, use correct prepositions and articles.

× I usually share many things to people like clothes.

✓ I usually share many things with people, such as clothes.

Use the preposition 'with' instead of 'to' when indicating who you share something with. Also 'like clothes' is better expressed as 'such as clothes' for clarity. Keep punctuation for readability.

× I majorly prefer to give my clothes to my cousins as they need them in the situation and certain type of note making of my to my friend.

✓ I mainly prefer to give my clothes to my cousins when they need them, and I also sometimes share my notes with a friend.

'Majorly' is informal/incorrect here; use 'mainly'. The phrase 'in the situation' is vague; 'when they need them' is clearer. 'Certain type of note making of my to my friend' is ungrammatical; interpret as 'share my notes with a friend'. Use simpler, clearer structure and correct prepositions.

× From my perspective, gold items are not suitable to share because it if they might, they might lose in any of the situation, then it will destroy the relationship and also build a misunderstanding in between the in in between the relationship.

✓ From my perspective, gold items are not suitable to share because they might be lost in some situations, which could harm the relationship and create misunderstandings.

Avoid 'suitable to share'; use 'suitable for sharing' or 'not suitable to share'. Remove redundant words 'it if they might'. Use 'lost' (past participle) with 'be' to form passive 'might be lost'. 'In any of the situation' should be 'in some situations'. 'Destroy the relationship and also build a misunderstanding' is awkward; use 'harm the relationship and create misunderstandings'. Remove repetition 'in between the in in between'.

× About two weeks ago I have to share my study notes with one with one of my friend who was eagerly wanted my notes for studies to betterment of grades in examination.

✓ About two weeks ago I shared my study notes with a friend who urgently wanted them to improve her grades in the exams.

Time marker 'About two weeks ago' requires simple past tense ('I shared'), not present perfect ('I have to share'). Remove duplicate 'with one with one'. Use 'a friend' (not 'my friend' unless specified). 'Was eagerly wanted' is incorrect; use 'who urgently wanted them' or 'who was eager to have them'. 'To betterment of grades in examination' should be 'to improve her grades in the exams'.

× So I genuinely and with a heart I gave my personal notes to her.

✓ So I genuinely, from the heart, gave her my personal notes.

Word order and phrasing are awkward. 'With a heart' is non-idiomatic; use 'from the heart'. Place adverbs where they modify the verb: 'I genuinely gave her my personal notes' or 'I gave her my personal notes from the heart.' Use object pronoun 'her' after the verb.

× It would be my mother because everything I share with her related to my personal life or related to the socializing with my friends at the time, Uh, if uh, in bad news I or good news I, the first person in my mind comes would be my mother.

✓ It would be my mother because everything I share with her is related to my personal life or to socializing with my friends. Whether it is bad news or good news, the first person who comes to my mind is my mother.

Verb 'related' needs auxiliary: 'is related'. 'Socializing with my friends at the time' is unclear; 'to socializing with my friends' is better. Reorder the clause 'the first person in my mind comes would be my mother' to the idiomatic 'the first person who comes to my mind is my mother.' Remove filler sounds.

× I share many things with my friends related to my academics or my future goals.

✓ I share many things with my friends that are related to my academics or my future goals.

Add 'that are' to link 'things' with the relative clause for clarity. The original is understandable but needs the relative clause to be grammatically complete.

× I used to tell my best friend about what will what I will do in the future or what I'll my ambitions to to to complete it so that I can also gain some confidence and opinions for my better minds.

✓ I tell my best friend about what I will do in the future and about my ambitions so that I can gain confidence and get feedback to improve my plans.

Remove 'used to' unless referring to a past habitual action; here present/future is intended, so use 'I tell' or 'I talk to'. Eliminate repeated words 'what will what I will' and 'to to to'. 'What I'll my ambitions' is ungrammatical; use 'about my ambitions'. 'For my better minds' is incorrect; likely meant 'to improve my thinking' or 'to improve my plans'; use 'to improve my plans' or 'to improve myself'. Also simplify structure and add 'get feedback' instead of 'opinions for my better minds'.