购物— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cải thiện ngữ pháp và tính tự nhiên: tránh lỗi thời gian và cấu trúc (ví dụ "when I was stressful" nên là "when I am stressed"), dùng dạng danh từ số nhiều đúng ("jewellery" or "jewelry" không phải "jewelries"), và rút gọn câu dài, loại tiếng tắc (uh). Thêm liên từ hợp lý để mạch lạc (e.g., "because", "so"). Giữ tối đa 3-4 câu, bắt đầu bằng câu trả lời trực tiếp rồi thêm 1-2 chi tiết cụ thể về ví dụ hoặc thói quen.

範例: Yes, I enjoy shopping. I often visit shopping malls to buy new clothes and jewellery because it gives me a sense of accomplishment. For example, last weekend I bought a dress that improved my confidence for an upcoming event.

建議: Chỉnh lại cách diễn đạt để rõ ràng và tự nhiên: tránh từ lặp ("my money, my pocket"), sửa lỗi cấu trúc ("something which is really expensive" → "items that are too expensive"). Thêm liên kết lí do ("so", "therefore") và một ví dụ cụ thể để minh hoạ thói quen so sánh giá. Giữ ngắn gọn 2-3 câu.

範例: Yes, I always compare prices because I don't want to waste money on items that are overpriced. For instance, I usually check online reviews and prices on two or three websites before I decide to buy something.

建議: Sửa ngữ pháp và thời gian: dùng thì hiện tại cho thói quen ("I write things down on a notebook or on my smartphone"). Loại bỏ tiếng ấp úng (uh) và dùng liên từ hợp lý ("so") để câu mạch lạc. Thêm chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ: ghi tên sản phẩm, ngân sách) để làm rõ phương pháp chọn lựa.

範例: Not really — I usually write a shopping list on my smartphone before I go out, so I can go straight to the items I need. For example, I list the exact size and budget for clothes to avoid wasting time and money.

建議: Cải thiện cấu trúc và diễn đạt chính xác: tránh lặp từ ("with me", "I could say"), sửa ngữ pháp ("affordable and suitable for me"), loại bỏ tiếng ấp úng và dùng ví dụ cụ thể hoặc tiêu chí để chứng minh quan điểm. Giữ 2-3 câu, bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng và kết hợp lí do kèm ví dụ.

範例: No, I don't think expensive products are always better. I value affordability and suitability more; for example, I prefer a mid-priced jacket that fits well over an expensive brand that doesn't suit my style.

× I love going to shopping mall and buying some new accessories especially jewelries and clothes uh, which gives me a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

✓ I love going to the shopping mall and buying some new accessories, especially jewelry and clothes, which give me a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

Error: incorrect use of verb + -ing and related nouns. 'going to shopping mall' should be 'going to the shopping mall' because 'go to' requires a place with article. 'jewelries' is uncountable so use 'jewelry'. Also 'which gives me' is incorrect agreement: plural noun 'accessories' (and the whole activity) requires 'give'. Suggestion: use 'going to the shopping mall' and 'which give me' to match plural subject.

× And I can also go shopping when I was stressful and their mood.

✓ And I can also go shopping when I am stressed or in a bad mood.

Error: incorrect past tense and wrong pronoun. 'when I was stressful' should be present 'when I am stressed' because the student describes a habitual action. 'their mood' is wrong pronoun; 'in a bad mood' is correct idiom. Suggestion: use present tense for habitual actions and idiomatic phrase 'in a bad mood'.

× Yes, because I want to avoid buying useless, uh, accessories and something which is really expensive.

✓ Yes, because I want to avoid buying useless accessories and things that are really expensive.

Error: incorrect word choice and structure. 'useless, uh, accessories and something which is really expensive' is ungrammatical; use parallel structure 'useless accessories and things that are really expensive'. Replace 'which' with 'that' in defining relative clause. Suggestion: keep parallel nouns and use 'things that' for general items.

× I just want to save my money, my pocket and also make sure that I buy everything effectively.

✓ I just want to save my money and avoid wasting it, and also make sure that I buy things wisely.

Error: incorrect pronoun/phrase 'my pocket' and awkward adverb 'effectively'. 'Save my money' is fine but 'save my pocket' is incorrect; use 'avoid wasting it' or 'save money'. 'Buy everything effectively' is awkward; use 'buy things wisely'. Suggestion: use clear idiomatic expressions for saving money and shopping choices.

× When I purchased something, I wrote things down on my note or are on my smartphones.

✓ When I am going to purchase something, I write things down on my notebook or on my smartphone.

Error: tense inconsistency and verb agreement. The student mixes past ('purchased','wrote') with present habit. Use present simple for habitual action: 'When I am going to purchase something, I write things down'. Also 'my note' should be 'my notebook' and 'are on my smartphones' is wrong; use 'on my smartphone'. Suggestion: use consistent present tense for routines and correct singular forms.

× So when I go to the shop I just uh, go straight forward and buy what I want.

✓ So when I go to the shop I just go straight ahead and buy what I want.

Error: incorrect phrasal choice 'straight forward' vs 'straight ahead'. 'Straight forward' is an adjective meaning frank; the correct adverbial direction is 'straight ahead'. Suggestion: use 'go straight ahead' for movement.

× It can be a way to save my time and my money on buying things.

✓ It can be a way to save time and money when buying things.

Error: awkward sentence structure and unnecessary articles. 'save my time and my money on buying things' is wordy; idiomatic phrase is 'save time and money when buying things'. Suggestion: omit unnecessary possessive pronouns and use concise phrasing.

× I don't think so because uh, personally, I think the products are affordable and suitable with me is the most important factor with me when I'm buying something.

✓ I don't think so because, personally, I think whether products are affordable and suitable for me is the most important factor when I'm buying something.

Error: incorrect preposition and repetition. Use 'suitable for me' not 'suitable with me'. Avoid repeating 'with me'. Also rephrase to make subject 'whether products are affordable and suitable for me' rather than 'the products are affordable and suitable with me is'. Suggestion: use 'suitable for me' and a clearer noun clause.

× So I could say, I could say that uh, prices are not the most important factor when I go shopping.

✓ So I would say that prices are not the most important factor when I go shopping.

Error: inappropriate modal repetition and tense. Repeating 'I could say, I could say' is redundant; 'I would say' is a more natural present opinion expression. Suggestion: use 'I would say' for stating an opinion and avoid repetition.